Archive | October, 2011

A statue, not a meditating dwarf

21 Oct

I’m afraid to say that the threat I made last week about spending the entirety of this post whinging may end up being carried out. I’ve spent the entire morning, while walking about the city centre, trying to find positive things to write about. I’ve watched the interactions between parents and their children, I’ve eavesdropped on conversations, I’ve even spent the last hour in Central Station, watching to see if there would be a happy reunion or some such drivel. While I’m not saying that I haven’t witnessed some beautiful, and moving, moments today, I can say that each and every one of them has been proceeded with some dire, depressing occasion, seemingly to occur precisely in order to balance out the happiness of the moment before. The beautiful moment of happiness when the children spot their dad coming out of the office from work is cut short by their mother’s screeching over missing money. The mother finding her young, teenage daughter in the crowded platform, runs joyously up to her, only to be confronted by a bulging belly and a Mothercare bag.

So, my attempts at finding something happy to tell you about has completely backfired and has just depressed me more than I was when I started. You’re just going to have to put up with a rant today.

As I’m sure you can figure out, after my last ditch attempt at finding inspiration for my post, I’ve had a pretty crap week. I’m still loaded with the cold, overdosing on Lemsips and eating far too many Soothers. In fact, it’s been so bad that I’ve had to skip my lectures on Friday. Those of you who know me will know that I do not miss classes. Ever.

I didn’t used to mind skipping classes. I had a lot of health problems and regularly had to take time off from school. Now though, I would never take time off if I could possibly avoid it. I suppose it’s actually because of having been absent so much before that I never miss a class. I used to get told off by a couple of my teachers quite a lot, who were less understanding about my health problems, and used to get called a skiver by my classmates. It completely changed last year though, to the extent that, rather than moaning at me about not being at school, my teachers repeatedly ‘had words’ about me being at school!

The fact that I missed a whole day of lectures speaks volumes about how rotten this cold is. I’m still determined it is a cold. I do not get flu’s!!

Anyway, other than coughing up half my lungs I’ve not had a very interesting week. I’m still struggling with my essays but I’ve now got a whole week to spend trying to get them sorted out. I’ve decided to go home for reading week, it’s my best friends birthday party tomorrow, and my birthday on Tuesday so I’ve managed to convince my self it’s a good idea to drag more than 20 course books all the way down to Eastriggs. I’m absolutely dreading the return journey!

Oh, something interesting did happen! I almost forgot! Well, I found it interesting, anyway. On my way back from the centre shopping on Monday, (only 65 days until the ‘C’ word, oh dear God) I fell over getting off the Subway. That in itself isn’t interesting, just an every day occurrence, however, I had actually tripped over something on the floor which ended up completely weirding me out. (My amazing English skills…) It was a little Buddha on a keyring. (A statue obviously, not a meditating dwarf). This was so strange that day because, for the last year I’ve been seriously reconsidering my religion, and trying to decide if I did, in fact, have one.

I started to do this after Fifth year, having had a very bad time of things for quite a while, I began to really doubt my faith. Up until that point I would have classed myself as a Christian. (Protestant to be precise, and I have to be precise, my family’s from the West of Scotland, enough said.) I had never, up until that point, considered that I could believe anything else, or disbelieve what I thought I did. However, when I started to feel that perhaps things weren’t as clear cut as they seemed to be, I decided to look into religion more, and ended up taking RMPS at higher.

I learned a lot during this class, about my own religion as well as about Buddhism, which, right from the very beginning intrigued me. It was only when I decided to read the bible over the summer that I decided that I could not call myself a Christian as I didn’t really believe in God.

I had been talking to my mum, only the night before I found the keyring, about my increasing interest in Buddhism and had mentioned that I was considering going to the Buddhist temple. She suggested I wait and see how I feel about it when I was a bit more settled.

Now, I’m not really big on ‘signs’ or ‘fate’, it’s all mumbo-jumbo to me, however, my mum seems to think me finding the Buddha keyring was a sign, not mere coincidence, and I’m a little inclined to agree with her. It’s just a bit spooky!

Sorry, I’ve went off track, into the rocky grounds of religion. Well, I don’t think I have too much else to tell you about. I had a very flattering request by an English teacher in Falkirk, who asked if she could show one of my stories to her higher class. She’s also offered to let me bounce some ideas for creative writing off her, and has actually given me a few good ones already, so hopefully they’ll be up here soon. (I know I kind of already promised this last week but I just can’t seem to get over this writers’ block!)

Anyway, I’m going to go finish reading Another Country for English Lit, given it was meant to be read for three weeks ago I figured I’d best get a move on with it! Bye!

*** Oh MY God! I’m tacking this little paragraph on at the last minute because another really weird thing has happened! On my way back from getting my book out of my suitcase, I sat down and jumped right back up, screeching in pain after sitting on a Buddha!!! (Again, a statue…)A little silver statue was sitting in my seat!!!!! I asked everyone around me if it was their’s, or if they’d seen who put it there, but it didn’t belong to them, and nobody had passed!! How weird!! Maybe I should go to the temple soon after all… ***

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I promise I’ll work on the titles for next week…. :D

16 Oct

First off, an apology is due for breaking my promise of posting every week. I have no reasonable excuse this time, so sorry.

Anyway, I’m writing this post on the train on the way back to Glasgow after spending the weekend back home. I’m absolutely shattered, having been up for most of the night with what I’m completely denying is the flu. I’ve never had the flu before and I don’t intend to have it now. It’s just a really bad cold…

Even being blocked up doesn’t stop me gagging at the stench of nail varnish now filling the compartment, as the girl sitting opposite, currently listening to One Directions new song so loudly on her I-phone I can quite easily sing along to every word, decided it would be a grand idea to paint her nails in a stuffy, overcrowded train which the majority of people are stuck on for another hour before it reaches central station in Glasgow. What a sweetheart.

I suppose I can’t really complain, I’m pretty sure I’m suffocating half of the train with the reek of ammonia from my hair. I spent most of the morning sitting in the kitchen with my mum furiously ‘massaging’ in the Chocolate Brown dye in a last ditch attempt to rid myself of my half yellow, half red hairdo. My hair now ranges from light brown to jet black, but doesn’t look too bad! Especially not in comparison to the horrendous ‘blonde’ I ended up with. My scalp is still bright red, not from hair dye this time, but from my mum’s vicious attacks!

Other than my disaster with the hair dye, it’s been a good week. My classes are going well, if a little bit boring at times. I’ve been able to spend some time reading as well, which has been good. Oh, I finally found time to go to the library! Oh my god!!!! It’s huge! I absolutely love it, even though it’s quite complicated to understand the ordering system, and despite the fact that it took me nearly twenty minutes to work out how to use the self-service book checkout , much to the amusement of some of the older students watching me.

I’m still procrastinating over my essays and finding practically any excuse not to do them. They’re just so intimidating, I have no idea where to start. It’s not too bad for English lit, there’s several questions to chose from and they’re all comparison questions, which I prefer. Theology has three questions for Islam, Judaism and Christianity, but seeing as we’ve only finished Islam it’s still a bit limiting, not to mention I don’t even understand half of the questions. For Philosophy there is only one question and it is very, very vague. I’m absolutely dreading answering it!

Oh, I almost forgot that I went to the first meeting of the Creative Writing Society on Tuesday night. It was really fun, being able to spend some time with friends and being forced to come up with something creative on the spot, although it was very intimidating and ended up being complete and utter rubbish, has helped me to get the better of my writers’ block! So there may be some creative writing up on the blog some time in the near future!

I don’t really have much more to tell you. So far, all I’ve seemed to do in my posts is rant about something or someone that’s pissed me off, and I’m trying not to do that again. Although, if I were to do that I would tell you how annoying I find it that the girl opposite me has now decided to spray half a can of deodorant, just to add to the toxic smell in this carriage. I wonder where she’s going that would require this much preparation? I mean, I’ve seen her apply four layers of foundation in the last half an hour, redo her lip gloss twice and add even more mascara to the black clumps that may at one point in time have been eyelashes.

Anyway, as I said, there’s not much more to say to be honest. Hopefully I’ll have done something more interesting for the nest post, if not I’ll just pick a random thing that’s irritated me and write a couple of pages on that! I really hope to have a short story up during the week, but I’m still working on it. Fingers crossed! I know it’ll just take one before I can get back into writing again. Here’s hoping.

I should really start using more interesting titles…

5 Oct

Firstly, apologies for not updating sooner. I promised myself that as soon as I had written my poetry analysis, which I started last Wednesday night, I would post a new entry. It’s taken me a week to stop procrastinating and get on with it, but I’m finally finished!

So yesterday when I started to think of what I would say in this post I had absolutely no ideas at all. I thought that when I got back home from Uni I’d spend a couple of hours just attempting to make the last fortnight sound mildly interesting. That didn’t happen, however, and I instead had to spend the entire night on Facebook trying to get a hate page that was posted about me deleted.

This page, as those of you who have seen it will know, was posted by an inarticulate, unintelligent bully and his attempts to hurt me by posting this backfired on him last night when my friends, both those that I have known since Secondary school and who have gone through the school with me and the boy who wrote this page, and my new friends up here in Glasgow, responded to his insulting comments and reported the page. I’m glad to say, he’s now been suspended from facebook, so hopefully I’ll not have any more bother from him.

Even though it was only on Facebook for a few hours, it seems that everyone has heard that it was posted. I’ve had many supportive comments from my friends, which have helped me to realise that no one believes what was written and that most people can see that it was just a pathetic little boy trying to get attention.

Sorry, rant over. Anyway, other than that, my week’s been pretty boring. I’m sure that you’re delighted to hear you’re wasting valuable time reading about my boring week, when you could be out living your’s!

I’ve had so much work on that I’ve not had a lot of time to do anything interesting to tell you about! Unless you’d like to hear about my poetry analysis? Or the thrilling Critical Thinking book I’m reading for Philosophy? No, I didn’t think so.

What I am finding as a big shock is how quickly time is flying by. My first few weeks here felt like they were never going to end. And now it’s the 5th of October already! (only 20 days until my 18th Yay!) I guess the reason that time has just disappeared this week is the amount of work we’re all getting.

This varies for each of my classes; Philosophy has spent the last three weeks discussing Descartes’ Meditations and we’re still only on the third one, English Literature has basically left us to read and analyse an entire novel in this time, and Theology expects us to learn the ins and outs of the entire Islamic religion, in just three weeks! This last class, Theology, is the one I’m struggling with most at the moment I think. I know I should be struggling more with English, given I haven’t even read half of the novel yet, but I can at least grasp what’s being said in English Lit, Theology is a different matter entirely.

I absolutely loved RMPS last year, which is what prompted me to take it this year, but there is such a difference between the two that it’s like doing an entirely different subject! Last year we spent months going over the different aspects of Buddhism, and spending time discussing and debating a lot of the issues that arise in it. Now, we’re just hit with an avalanche of information and expected to find some sort of reason within it.

Despite finding it difficult, the challenge of basically learning about a religion without much guidance is absolutely brilliant!! I love the independence of being able to research and find my own way around all of the issues of the Islamic religion. I think I would find it a lot easier if I had someone to bounce ideas off of, or to ask for opinions etc, like I used to in secondary school, but I’ve not managed to speak to many people in my lectures or tutorials, so I don’t have this aspect yet.

I found last year that talking things over with my classmates, or pestering my lovely teacher, helped me far more than reading notes and things, so hopefully once I’ve found someone to discuss these things with, then I’ll get a better grasp of what I’m trying to learn. Even with the difficulty, or perhaps because of it, I’m finding theology absolutely enthralling!

Something which I can’t quite say about Philosophy. I’m finding lectures on Descartes and ‘Critical thinking’ to be the bane of my existence at the moment. I knew I would find this though; Philosophy doesn’t have an answer, and anything which doesn’t have an answer frustrates me far too much. I’m honestly not sure what I was thinking selecting this subject, when I knew I was going to get so easily worked up by it!! Actually, it was exactly this reason I chose it! And the fact that I can have debates about philosophical things, such as ‘Is the sky blue?’ of which I’ve already convinced 3 people that the answer is no.

And English Literature is just as interesting as I thought it would be! The poetry analysis I attempted completely knocked my confidence, however. I’ve never really had any trouble analysing, or writing essays, but I have to admit that I found this to be so intimidating, and it scared the hell out of me. The analysis isn’t graded, but even so, I’m sure that I’ve done very poorly, my arguments weren’t well structured and my grammar was also pretty bad. I suppose there’s nothing to do about it now! Just have to wait and see what my tutor says.

Anyway, I’ve prattled on for long enough now. I just want to say thanks to everyone who supported me with this ‘hate page’ malarkey because it wouldn’t have been sorted nearly as quickly without you.

Oh, also, thank you to my two lovely ex-english teachers who put up with my moaning and last minute panicking over my analysis! I’m sure you must be sick of this by now! And not even being a hundred miles away from me, and not even my teachers any more, means you can escape my last minute hysteria when it comes to essays and exams!!