Making grown men cry…

18 Nov

So, obviously it’s only been a little while since I last wrote but a combination of my desire to whinge about stuff, how bad the last post was and being guilt tripped by my friend about not posting often enough, I thought I’d shock everyone to their foundations and get a post out, not only on time, but early!

Okay, I’m sure you’re probably desperate to hear more of the riveting life I’ve been leading… Well, I’ve spent the last few days relaxing, or as my lovely new friend calls ‘Zenning out’. It may be obvious to you that he is a Buddhist, and he replied to a message I wrote on twitter about learning meditation. He’s given me some pretty useful advice so if anyone wants me to put it on her, just leave a comment and I’ll do so!

Anyway, yes, I’ve spent quite a lot of time the last few days attempting to meditate, something I’ve never tried before. Safe to say it was a bit of a nightmare. For those of you who have ever attempted meditation, you’ll probably have experienced the same ‘mind buzz’ that’s plagued me. My brain just won’t shut up! I’m trying to follow the advice I’ve been given though, which includes attempting to ‘unburden my mind’, so here I am doing just that.

Okay, there were a few things I wanted to fit into the last post but, as is my wont, I rambled on for too long to actually say anything I wanted to.

Well, one thing which I had planned to moan about was my misfortune at bumping into a religious campaigner, intent to convert me to some rather obscure branch of a religion. (I’ll refrain from mentioning which religion, in case someone takes offence and think I’m implying that all the folk of this, while obscure, still quite interesting sect are as nutty as this muppet). This man pulled me aside while I was hurriedly rushing down Byers road, laden with four bags of heavy shopping, soaked through from the torrential downpour which had barely calmed down. Apparently thinking that this would be an excellent time to have a theological chitchat, he persistently stepped in front of me, smiling and asking if I truly wished to burn in hell for the rest of eternity. Apparently, answering that at least it’d be warmer than Glasgow was not what he had hoped to hear. As I attempted to side-step him and avoid the argument I knew was about to ensue, he then decided to tell me God would hate me for my sins and for not listening to him, who was God’s holy messenger. Now this I could not pass up.

I think it’s fair to say that, after this comment, I was justified in ‘discussing’ this with the half-witted eejit. So, he proceeded to ‘debate’ God, religion, heaven, hell, wrath, atonement and how ‘God loves you, but if you don’t do what I tell you, he’ll send you to hell and let Hitler, Sudam Hussein, Mohammed and Buddha rape, abuse and mutilate you’.

After this last comment I admit I did actually have to pause and wonder if he really just classed Buddha and Muhammed with Hitler and Hussein. By this point in the conversation I’d pretty much anticipated complete and utter nonsense to come spewing out of the man’s mouth, however this astounded me.

I interrupted him for the first time during out conversation and asked him to explain why the Buddha and Muhammed would do that. His answer?

β€œThe Bible tells us that worshipping other Gods means that God hates you, so yes, eve n the ‘perfect’ (here he felt it necessary to emphasis his disgust by ‘air-quoting’) Buddha would go to hell.”

And why would he be abusing me? Because he’s a man and God made men better than women so even in hell they have the right to do whatever they like to women because women are subordinate and naturally sinful, like Eve. The only way to save yourself was to embrace Jesus, accept you’re naturally sinful if you’re female and donate a whole lot of money to his campaign.

And this is where I thought I should enlighten him (no pun intended) on a few things.

I started by pointing out that Judaism, Christianity and Islam are all Abrahamic faiths, and all derive from the same God. Then Pointing out that Buddhists do not believe in ANY God. Then pointing out that men did far more sinning in the Bible than women. Then pointing out a few reasons why every argument he’d said contradicted itself, taking him by complete surprise by quoting passages of the Bible (more accurately than he did).

When I then went on to politely inform him that attempting to convert someone to a religion, when they know bugger all about it is never a good idea. And it’s an even worse idea to do so on Byers road, where the majority of folks are students that are as equally likely to go through him like a dose of salts for attempting to. By the time I was finished ‘explaining’ why I would not convert to his religion, he burst into tears, stamped his foot on the ground drama-queen style and told me I was the devil incarnate, come to create havoc on earth. I decided my day had significantly improved.

Moving on, some nice stuff has happened too! I’ve spent a lot of time catching up with some old friends and teachers this week. I met a good friend of mine at the English Literature society and we had a blast trading gossip on all our old friends. This weekend I’m meeting up with some friends as well, going for a few (possibly significantly more than a few) drinks as well.

I’ve also been working on sonnets this week. I’ve written one which I was very glad to just finish, but reading it over, I’ve decided it needs some serious reworking. I’ve also got a few ideas for short stories milling about, I’m just trying to get them off the ground. I’ve been getting a bit of feedback on some ideas too, so hopefully I’ll kick this bloody writers’ block and get some things written!

Anyway, again, I’ve gone off track and said bugger all. I’ll behave next time I promise! I’ll post soon! Bye!


32 Responses to “Making grown men cry…”

  1. Jennifer Hay November 19, 2011 at 5:54 pm #

    I should also mention, I’ve Finally worked out how the comments work! they didn’t get lost in cyber space, they are now up, and I’ve even replied to them, shock horror. πŸ™‚ Jenx

  2. Jill Craine November 20, 2011 at 10:07 pm #

    I love this post! Very brave of you to take on a religious converter! I would have ran a mile! Jill X

    • Jennifer Hay November 20, 2011 at 10:20 pm #

      πŸ™‚ Thanks, and they’re not that scary! Some of them are lovely, just you do get quite a few who actually know less about their religion than anyone they’re trying to convert!

  3. Scott November 20, 2011 at 10:08 pm #

    The best post I’ve read in months!! Still can’t stop chuckling!

    • Jennifer Hay November 20, 2011 at 10:19 pm #

      πŸ˜€ Glad you liked it! It did amuse me at the time.

  4. Christian November 20, 2011 at 10:09 pm #

    I’d just like to say that despit Ur claim to not say which religion it is, its quite obvious it’s christianity, and I just want to point out we’re not all like that!

    • Jennifer Hay November 20, 2011 at 10:19 pm #

      Of course not! I didn’t mean to imply that, and I don’t think I did.

      • Christian November 20, 2011 at 10:23 pm #

        Yes you did. And I think it’s out of order that you would make such a fuss. You’re meant to be learning religion at uni, not how to be untolerant towards other religions. I used to enjoy reading your blog but this has changed my mind completely about you.

        • Jennifer Hay November 20, 2011 at 10:30 pm #

          Well, I’m sorry to hear that, but what I wrote in the post was not an insult to anyone’s religion. I was trying to point out that not knowing your own religion, or anything about others you are insulting, then trying to convert someone, particularly when you’ve interrupted them and been persistently and intimidatingly hounding pedestrians, is not an appropriate way for anyone to behave.

          • Christian November 20, 2011 at 10:33 pm #

            I found it insulting, so it clearly WAS an insult to someone’s religion. And what exactly is wrong with trying to convert others? If I could convert somneone to Christianity, I would. It will save them in the long run.

            • Jake Jones November 20, 2011 at 10:41 pm #

              You’re a knob. If you disagree with what she says, don’t then go ahead and prove her point. Also, stop overreacting. The last thing I want to be reading is your pmt bitching session. P.S. Jenchay, i thought it was a great post, I’m still laughing.

            • Jennifer Hay November 20, 2011 at 10:44 pm #

              You need to either calm down or leave. I have deleted your previous comments. I will not tolerate threats on my blog. If you continue to post threatening messages I will not hesitate to block you and refer this to wordpress admin.

  5. Soph D November 20, 2011 at 10:10 pm #

    This is a prime example of why Religion should be kept in churches not spouted on the streets! You go girl!

    • Jennifer Hay November 20, 2011 at 10:16 pm #

      Just like to point out that wasn’t the point of the post. I’m not against learning more about religion but there is a time and a place, sometimes the middle of the street works, sometimes it doesn’t. As long as they actually know what they’re talking about I actually quite enjoy it! πŸ™‚

      • sandrabranum November 29, 2011 at 11:35 pm #

        I get irate when I’m accosted about Religion in a restaurant. If I wanted to talk about Religion, it would not be while I’m eating. Good post. Thanks for subscribing to my blog.

  6. N Marks November 20, 2011 at 10:11 pm #

    Hahaha, Brilliant!

  7. J November 20, 2011 at 10:13 pm #

    πŸ™‚ I think this is really great! Hopefully he’ll learn his lesson! Just wondering if you were planning on writing about Breaking Dawn?! Really want to know if you’re team Edward or Team Jacob! I think you’d be team Edward (like me!) ❀

    • Jennifer Hay November 20, 2011 at 10:14 pm #

      Oh dear…. I’m neither I’m afraid. Twilight isn’t my thing at all. I’m assuming you’re a fan, so I’ll not be offensive and tell you it’s sh*t even though I’m thinking it πŸ™‚ Each to their own I suppose…

      • J November 20, 2011 at 10:21 pm #


        • Jennifer Hay November 20, 2011 at 10:26 pm #

          … Quite easily actually. πŸ˜› I did go through a ‘twilight phase’, but I then developed a sense of, well, taste.

      • sandrabranum November 29, 2011 at 11:40 pm #

        I probably shouldn’t say it, but I feel that way about Harry Potter. I watched the very last movie, but lost count at which of the previous ones I stopped watching.

        • Jennifer Hay November 30, 2011 at 12:06 am #

          Ah, I’m afraid I can’t sympathise with you on that one. I’m obsessed with Harry Potter. Mostly because Alan Rickman is one of the characters!

  8. Sarah Hartfield November 20, 2011 at 10:57 pm #

    Jennifer You are an ABSOLUTE legend. I love you more than I ever did before because of this… WHY was I not there to see this??

    • Jennifer Hay November 20, 2011 at 10:59 pm #

      Why thank you Sarah. I’m impressed you restrained yourself and managed to write something nice about me, instead of insulting me as you do in person. Is something wrong?

  9. Sarah Hartfield November 20, 2011 at 11:01 pm #

    πŸ™‚ Oh, I’m sorry. You’re a whore and I hate you. Better?

    • Jennifer Hay November 20, 2011 at 11:05 pm #

      Ahh, that’s good. Glad to see you’re back to normal.

  10. fiercebuddhist November 21, 2011 at 7:13 pm #

    Standing up to a bully is the only way! You did it in a compassionate way. I look forward to reading more.

  11. K.A. Nicholas November 22, 2011 at 3:56 am #

    I might suggest a relaxed movie night staring the illustrious Joseph Campbell for you and your friend. Or perhaps you could go to his street corner and stage a public reading of, say…..Pathways to Bliss…. Could be fun.;)

    • Jennifer Hay November 22, 2011 at 1:00 pm #

      Hahaha! This is perfect! I love this idea!!! Definitely tempted!

  12. reflectionofabuddhistmonk November 22, 2011 at 4:30 am #

    Sounds like you handled that beautifully. πŸ™‚

  13. Heather November 23, 2011 at 3:11 pm #

    As I already said loved your approach to the religious dude. Perhaps anyone offended by this topic should wonder why it makes them assume it is there own religion (rather than another) instead of bitching at the blog owner. I assumed it was a Jehovah’s Witness rather than any old Christian. Please dear Christians remember that Christianity is full of different denominations, which means that while some of you are lovely there are sects that are barmy, rude converters.

  14. gporiginal December 1, 2011 at 3:28 pm #

    This is a great story in itself. If we were all afraid we’d offend someone, nothing of value would ever be written or said. He sure wasn’t afraid to offend you.

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