My First Sonnet!

24 Nov

I’ve made a new page to put my attempts at sonnets on! I’ll put them up as a post every time I write one (or a short story etc) so you guys see them, cause I know you won’t check the pages when I update them. So.. (Copy and pasting…)

Okay, so this is the first sonnet I’ve ever written. It’s mostly not in Iambic pentameter and it’s contents are crap not very good but it’s really just an experiment to see how I get on.

So, as always criticism is much desired! And help with rhythm would be grand!

Here goes.


So says the Fairy God Mother. 


So there’s this new chick I’m working for, right?

Cinders is her name. She’s one of these New-

Age women; all liberation and ‘fight

For rights’, hairy pits, equality spew.


Apparently a days hard graft demeans

Her bloody human rights. So now she’s all

Up in arms, demanding all of her dreams

Be fulfilled and I get her to the ball.


All right dear Cinders, if that’s your request,

I shall magic you up a pretty dress,

A carriage and horses, only the best,

And I’m sure your night will be a success.


But you’ve only got ’til twelve with your prince;

You’ll be home early, you’ve dishes to rinse.


10 Responses to “My First Sonnet!”

  1. sunnysmile November 24, 2011 at 9:09 pm #


  2. lscotthoughts November 25, 2011 at 10:16 pm #

    Very good and loved the ending! Looking forward to the next one! 🙂

  3. Suzanne Mckain November 26, 2011 at 8:15 pm #

    Wow, i love it 😀 xxx

  4. albert21199 November 30, 2011 at 7:01 pm #

    It’s funny and entertaining.Good job.Keep up the good work.

    p.s.- any of my poems you see on my blog that you like or feel I can do better on let me know what you think.

    • Jennifer Hay December 4, 2011 at 2:10 am #

      🙂 Thanks! And I will! I really enjoy your work, I doubt I’ll find anything you could do better on! 😀

  5. hollyannegetspoetic December 2, 2011 at 4:31 am #

    “equality spew”!!! Had me laughing aloud! 🙂

  6. Caddo Veil December 26, 2011 at 6:00 pm #

    This is excellent! Seriously funny–excellent.

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