You know you’re a student when…

21 Dec

So, while trying to write a poem about student life, I thought I’d make a list of things that make you feel like a student…

You know you’re a student when…

  • your hair straighteners are used not to straighten your hair, but to iron your clothes.
  • you can no longer afford toilet paper and stealing from the Unions has become perfectly acceptable.
  • you have an endless to-do list but Scrubs, drinking and sleeping take precedence.
  • the dirty washing on your floor passes the ‘sniff test’ even after Three Days.
  • your fire alarm goes off and your hangover tells you, burning to death is preferable to leaving bed.
  • mince, tomato sauce and rice are the constituents of your fanciest dinner of the month.
  • you sneak handfulls of sauce sachets out of the restaurant in your bra.
  • there’s no clean spoons so it’s acceptable to stir your tea with a pen.
  • after using your chopping board the underside is dirtier than the top.
  • being sober for more than four days feels physically painful.
  • cheese is expensive but cheap Vodka is not.
  • the Primark Onsies alleviate any need for central heating.
  • loan day is more exciting than Christmas.
  • you use a vodka bottle as a rolling pin and a shot glass as an egg cup.
  • you have frozen veg in the freezer that’s never actually eaten just used for injuries.
  • you see the sell by dates as a challenge rather than a warning.
  • you stick your slippers back together with duck-tape.
  • it’s too much effort to microwave beans and make toast, so you start eating beans on bread.
  • you hoover the table before you wipe it
  • anything before noon is considered early
  • 6am is when you go to sleep, not when you wake up.
  • you realise anything can be cooked in the microwave.   **(except chicken!!!!)

8 Responses to “You know you’re a student when…”

  1. heartofbella December 21, 2011 at 11:41 pm #

    haha good stuff! I will deff take responsibility in stealing toilet paper, and I will go one further by stealing it from any and all bars/restaurants/clubs that do not lock their shit up and random people’s houses where they forget to hide the TP b/f the party (last one depending on how drunk I am)

    Oh the college life! great post!

  2. granbee December 22, 2011 at 9:25 am #

    Gee, I actually missed some of this stuff as a student! I am now making up for that vacancy in my life by following some of these patterns in my “senior years”. It’s actually very liberating. So relieved not to be expected to entertain as an empty nester. Hey, the local community center, my bank, and my church all have clean, attractive and well-organized rooms in which to entertain. And I can always take out-of-town visitors to hang out and drop their jaws at the red-neckisms they thought vanished in the 50’s! Why pay, why become neatness obsessed? A clean house, (not just a clean desk) is a sign of a frightened artist (or something or other). ADORE this post! So liberating.

  3. willowdot21 December 22, 2011 at 6:33 pm #

    Memories !

  4. dribblingpensioner December 26, 2011 at 2:34 pm #

    Hi Jennifer, would you vote for me in a contest for an award please, thank you Harry.

  5. catcherofstars December 27, 2011 at 4:45 pm #

    You basically summed it all up, the sad part is I’m a high school student and several of those apply to me already.

  6. catcherofstars December 27, 2011 at 4:45 pm #

    Oh, and thanks for the follow!!

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