If you could see me now

6 Jan

Sorry, I know I’m bombarding you with poetry tonight. Think I’ve been bitten by the writing bug. I’m not to sure about this one. I guess it’s a start. I’ll redo it at a later date…. 🙂

If you could see me now.

I wonder what you would say if you knew,

Each night before I sleep, I close my eyes

And imagine you were here beside me.

How would you react to the broken cries

I just can’t stop, and the sorrowed whimpers

That escape my lips as I think of you

And know that no matter how hard I might

Wish, and pray, you will never be there to

Stop them, to comfort me as you once did?

To hold me back and tell me that it would

all be fine. That you’d not let anything

Hurt me. Or anyone. That you’d take care

of me, and look after me, let me cling

to you and sob my heart out, knowing that

No matter what I told you, you’d never

Turn your back on me. How would you feel if

You could see how I miss you whenever

My head hits the pillow and I have time

To think, to remember, to let your face

fill my mind, your smile, your eyes, everything?

When I at last let you out of the place

That I’ve hidden you every day, to keep

You from invading every moment so that

I cannot breathe as thoughts of you seep

Into my mind, I fall apart, and I know

How you’d feel to see this, I need not ask.

Ashamed, disappointed, knowing that I

Did not heed your words, did not believe

It would be ok. Because it wasn’t. And isn’t.

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3 Responses to “If you could see me now”

  1. granbee January 6, 2012 at 7:44 am #

    Thank you for putting down in words, so rhythmically arranged, how I feel remembering my mother and grandmothers and grandfathers and their constancy in loving me, encouraging me,exemplifying for me faithfulness, devotion, wisdom. I realize this poem could also be about how much a husband is missed. What I guess I really like, what I am trying to say, is that it speaks of steadfast love much valued and much missed, no matter the source.

  2. willowdot21 January 6, 2012 at 8:56 am #

    Jen that is so beautiful it needs no fixing , no titivating leave it as it is, raw and honest. Broken hearted. I do hope these poems are not how you are feeling . If they are all I can say is, all things must pass. I know it sounds very hollow but it is true all things must pass. If this is not how you are feeling then it is just so spot on that you must of felt like this once before. It is a masterpiece, thank you for sharing.

    • Jen C Hay January 6, 2012 at 5:46 pm #

      Thank you. It means a lot that you like it! I wasn’t too sure about posting it.

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