I miss you.

6 Jan

I miss you.

I miss you. Three simple words I use,

Meant to capture what is in my heart.

How inadequate they seem to me,

In the face of this misery tearing me apart.

Yet, how else can I describe to you

This gaping hole pulsing in my chest,

Crushing my lungs, suffocating me,

Every time I think of you? A smothering weight pressed

On my heart from inside out. Empty,

Growing, strong enough to paralyse

The beat in my chest. How can I tell

You of the catch in my breath, each time I glimpse your eyes

In the face of a stranger? How can

I explain the quiver of my lip

As I steal traces of your smell in

Anonymous crowds? Or the painful hopes that grip

Me when I see your smile shine out from

A sea of cold faces? When I hear

Your laugh ring through the empty silence

Of my room, or the roaring noise, abusing my ears

Of faceless nobodies? How do I,

With these useless, empty words, describe

The longing, the disappointment and

Pain that I can’t even begin to contemplate, let alone scribe

In my simple pen? How do I tell

How my own imagination has

Turned against me, feeding the black hole

Crushing my heart with thoughts of you, of your face,

Your eyes, your lips, your smile, everything?

How even my own subconscious mind

Is torturing me with images

Like my deepest desires are on a loop behind

My eyes, a constant motion each time

I lay my head upon my pillow,

An assault on my senses, and as

I awake and reach for you, my hand closing through

Nothing, I feel the pressure in my

Chest get stronger, as the thought of you

Builds with no release, save desperate tears

And a lonely whisper in the darkness. I miss you.

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9 Responses to “I miss you.”

  1. dribblingpensioner January 6, 2012 at 5:45 pm #

    Very sad poem.

  2. David Eric Cummins January 6, 2012 at 8:11 pm #

    Beautiful!

    • Jen C Hay January 8, 2012 at 6:55 pm #

      πŸ™‚ Thank you very much!

  3. granbee January 6, 2012 at 8:55 pm #

    This could be read as merely sad. It can also be read as fervently treasuring memories of loved ones, or just deeply expressing how much we miss daily contact with adult children who live and work far away! In all case, it is quite beautifully composed.

    • Jen C Hay January 8, 2012 at 6:55 pm #

      πŸ™‚ Thank you. You know, I actually have no idea who I wrote this about. It was just a blurry outline of a person. So it could, in fact, have been any/all of these!

  4. S. Jean January 7, 2012 at 5:40 am #

    Jenchay, In my opinion you express the deep yearning of love seeking.

    • Jen C Hay January 8, 2012 at 6:53 pm #

      I guess everyone reads it a different way, but actually, I kind of agree with you. Didn’t realise you could read that in my poems though… πŸ™‚

  5. abichica January 8, 2012 at 2:45 am #

    like you say, 3 simple words, meant to capture how we feel about someone who isnt there.. but sometimes they fail to capture the loneliness and longing.. such a beautiful poem.. πŸ™‚

    • Jen C Hay January 8, 2012 at 6:52 pm #

      πŸ™‚ Thank you. I’m glad you liked it.

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