Dear Semi-Colon,

12 Jan

 Semi-colons don’t like me. They never have. Not since I offended them, placing them next to a Conjunction. Apparently they don’t get on. Some feud way back when the Colon was the big shot in town. But then the Semi-colon came along, and Grammar has never been the same. The conjunction never forgave the Semi-colon for ousting its friend, the Colon, out of all the good Sentences.

I only made the mistake once, but it was enough for the Semi-colon never to trust me again. Try though I did to make it up to them, putting them between all the best Clauses, they were never satisfied.

They never behaved how they were supposed to after that day. The darn Semi-colons started turning up places I swear I hadn’t put them! Wedging themselves in between unconnected Sentences, sticking themselves to the end of them, even turning up where the Comma used to live! And then, when I put them in between their Clauses, nice and safe, they started running all over the page! Hiding, trying to disguise themselves as Colons!

Well, Semi-colons, I say enough is enough. I’m tired of you and your feisty little friends playing tricks on me. I’m taking over my writing again, and you will stay where I put, or else I’ll leave you off the page and put a Comma in your place! How would you feel then, Semi-colon, knowing you’d been replaced by a measly Comma? You wouldn’t like it, would you? Well, I suggest you remember that the next time you decide to play funny beggars, roaming around my paragraphs like you own them.

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13 Responses to “Dear Semi-Colon,”

  1. willowdot21 January 12, 2012 at 8:26 am #

    On behalf of all Commas I would like to say that we are not measly!! and I and my brothers and sisters object to your comment ” measly Comma?”
    Apart from that I love the post it makes a lot of sense!!

    • Jen C Hay January 12, 2012 at 11:09 pm #

      Let’s eat Grandpa!
      Let’s eat, Grandpa!
      Commas save lives.

      😀 Yes, I have an undying love for the comma!

  2. granbee January 12, 2012 at 9:24 am #

    What a joyful whoop of a poem honoring the merry chase grammatical punctuations lead us on through the morphing of our masterful scribblings!

    • Jen C Hay January 12, 2012 at 11:03 pm #

      🙂 Thank you. I wouldn’t so much call it joyful, as ranting. But it did cheer me up after writing my essay!

  3. plumvodka January 12, 2012 at 11:44 am #

    Ah the dear semi-colon… it’s a love-hate relationship over here! I’ll never misuse them again! Merci Jen! (:

    • Jen C Hay January 12, 2012 at 11:01 pm #

      🙂 I think it was just our English teachers. They must have hated semi-colons. Forever removing them from essays. *grumbles about Miss M and her bloody obsessions…*

  4. dribblingpensioner January 12, 2012 at 8:02 pm #

    I don’t worry about semi-colons : colons; commas, or other any-thing else !, i stick them in, and leave them, if they are wrong, to bad, the people, can still read it 🙂

    • Jen C Hay January 12, 2012 at 11:00 pm #

      😀 That is a great Philosophy for life. And that’s what I do to, but apparently you can’t really get away with it in an English Lit essay…. 😉

  5. pglt39 January 14, 2012 at 6:14 am #

    Since I don’t have a colon I din’t find it funny but there must be some more humor there interesting choice more like an essay, and an eas way to practice syntax.

  6. Soma Mukherjee January 17, 2012 at 12:38 pm #

    Hi Jen C I have nominated you for One lovely blog award..if you are interested then please follow the link to know more- http://somkritya.wordpress.com/2012/01/17/one-lovely-blog-award-3/

  7. jennstar475 January 18, 2012 at 11:16 pm #

    I really enjoyed this Jen! The bafflement grammar can cause is a great subject and it’s good to know others personify inanimate objects too 🙂

  8. BrainRants January 28, 2012 at 4:04 am #

    I have never truly understood Mr. Semicolon… or Mr. Fullcolon for that matter, though he does pressure me quite a bit from time to time.

    • Jen C Hay January 28, 2012 at 11:10 pm #

      🙂 Yes, Mr Colon is just as confusing as Mr Semicolon!

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