My bff’s an Orangutan. Just pointing this out.

17 Nov

So, it’s been a little while since I updated properly, mostly because I’ve had essays coming out my ears. I’ve not exactly coped well with them this year. I never cope well, really. But this lot has taken things to a whole new level. I procrastinated until pretty much the last minute for the first two, English and Comparative Literature; I’d just completely lost my focus and couldn’t sit down long enough to get the words on the paper. But I had a very detailed plan for English. And by very detailed I mean I had not just every paragraph, but every sentence planned beforehand. This kind of showed how bad my attention span’s become lately I guess, I knew exactly what I was going to write but just couldn’t get it out. I’ve noticed this happening with creative writing but my essays too?! No fair!

Comp lit, a 1,500 word essay on the role of duty in the depiction of a hero, took all of two hours to write, at about eleven o’clock the night before it was due, completely off the top of my head with no plan in sight. You can probably guess how well that went.

Theology, oh God, where do I start? I knew the mess I’d gotten myself into with the first two, so I forced myself to site down every night for the week before it was due and write. Unlike with the other two, I did manage to write the essay before it was due. In fact, I wrote six different essays. And furiously deleted six different essays. And ripped up the detailed plans for the six different essays, complete with quotes and analysis from secondary sources. And then ended up writing a completely off the cuff essay on the morning it was due in which consisted of at least 50% quotes, just to fill up the space. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

I’d tried so hard with that bloody essay! But for some reason, even after planning and planning, when it came to writing it there was just no structure and half of what I wrote didn’t even relate to the question. I’m so disappointed with it, I genuinely don’t feel like I’ve written an essay that poor before. And it’s worth 50% of my grade. If I don’t do well enough in it, I won’t be able to take the course next year! And God only knows what I’ll do then! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Okay, it’s time to calm down from that (theology essay was due at five tonight) and focus on studying for the exams which are ridiculously close. I’m going to put most of my attention towards theology, because I feel that with English I’m almost I my element, I know what I’m doing and can do it without too much problems, as long as I know the text. But with theology, it’s so much more challenging for me. I love that, but God, it’s going to be the death of me I swear.

But I’ve decided I’m taking the night off. I’m going to go out with my friends, get very, very drunk and pretend there’s no such thing as uni, essays or exams. Sounds like the best option to me. Vodka here I come.

I’m on the train right now and, for the first time, I have my music playing (through head phones) from my laptop. I don’t normally do this in public places. It’s too much pressure on me not to dance and screech along with my *clearly* amazing playlist. I’m getting some odd looks right now, but I’m beyond caring. Jermaine Stewart’s just came on, We don’t haaave to take out clooothes off to have a gooooood time, ohno, we could daaaance and party aaaall niiight…

I’ve had a lot of stress these last few weeks as well. Today I’m pretty close to breaking point. Again. Urgh, honestly, the subway broke down for ten minutes ‘was delayed’ in a freaking tunnel. I am beyond claustrophobic, I was sitting in the carriage with half a dozen people, just crying silently and trying not to scream my lungs raw. As a result of this I missed my train home and had to hang about Glasgow Central for an hour and a half, freezing my arse off for the next train.

Before this, I managed to have a complete meltdown, think I had already missed the train because I stupidly forgot to change the time on my phone when the clocks went back. I was running about like a lunatic, trying to pack my sister’s birthday present (belated happy 16th Bethany. Xxx), messaging my friend about going out tonight and how I’d probably missed the train and will be late and a lot of frowny faces. Then realising I actually had a whole hour til the train left, feeling like an idiot for panicking.

And I missed the damn thing after all.

Also, my phone’s broken. I can’t call or text anyone, or receive messages or calls. SO, you can imagine the mess when I had to contact my parents and my friends about being late. Having to whap out the laptop in the middle of the central and skype, actually skype them to let them know. Honestly, my head’s about to explode with the stress of this.

Yes, I know, you don’t even need to tell me how incredible my taste in music is. 😀

Hmm, what else has happened other than essays? Well, I don’t think I’ve eaten an actual meal for about four/five days now, unless super-noodle sandwiches count. I’ve been so bad at replying to fb messages and texts and emails. And I’m gonna continue to be, until my exams are over.

OOOOOOOOOOH! EDISON LIGHTHOUSE JUST CAME THROUGH MY HEADPHONES. I was born in the wrong decade. She aint got no money, her clothes are kinda funny, her hair is kinda wild and freeeee, Oooh Loooooove grows where my rooosemary gooooes and nobody knooooows like meeeee.

Oh Jeez. I’m gonna stop writing now, it’s distracting me from the awesomeness of this song. BYE!

**tagging this on at the end of this post just to inform you all my night was successful and I’ve ended up drunkenly caressing a door. xx

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One Response to “My bff’s an Orangutan. Just pointing this out.”

  1. willowdot21 November 17, 2012 at 12:15 pm #

    You are talking about the music I know and love. ….. Deep breath now count to ten! Breath in through your nose and out through your mouth and as you breath out pull in your core ( back, tummy and pelvic muscles ) as you breath out let all your stress go try it it helps!!

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