Archive | December, 2012

Thank you!

18 Dec

Okay, so, I’ve had fifty thousand views on here since I posted that poem two (ish) days ago…. O.o WHAT? Um, thank you to everyone who’s read it and liked or commented on it, I do really appreciate all the positive (and negative) feedback. But I still think you’re all insane.

I’m not going to say much in this post, most of you know from Tumblr/Twitter I’ve been having a strange few days! Today was great though, managed to not get trampled on in the madness that is Sauchiehall Street a week before Christmas and met Heather and her Fiance for a walk round the Christmas fair! And then had to wrap about a bajillion presents, which is probably my least favourite thing to do!

And now I’ve had a lovely night with friends exchanging gifts and getting incredibly drunk! Do you know, I was asked the other day why I follow my own blog, and my reply is I do so much of my blogging completely hammered, I need the email alerts in the morning to remind me what I’ve said/ that I’ve written at all. It’s a tough life.

I’m heading home tomorrow, kind of glad to get away from here for a while. All this ‘having a life’ stuff’s very draining. No wonder I’ve avoided it the past 19 years.

I actually wanted to complain about something, but I’ve forgotten what it is so it can’t be that important.

I really only wanted to say thank you to everyone! I’ve been shocked, overwhelmed and completely confused at the amount of attention my last ‘poem’ received! So thanks. And I shall be blasting some more crap poetry your way soon, seeing as it’s clearly what you’re all into now. I’m hoping to use Christmas to get back into writing prose. We’ll say.

Anyway, I’d better love you and leave you, I’m completely shattered and ready to drop. Goodnight!

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15 Dec

AAlibrary's Blog

Just the other day I passed a link to  this website to colleague and teacher of English at Annan Academy Graeme Cooper, together with a cryptic note “How about it?”. Our Mr Cooper is a recently published  and talented poet(see him blush) and I’m sure you will all agree after reading his poem below. Fellow librarians say the poem should be published as a poster to display in our libraries.I for one, would buy one for home too.

Journey’s End?

Why do we,
Need a library,
When to search on line,
Does the job just fine?
Takes us straight to what we want to see?
Because of what we miss along the way.
For what journeys do we go on now,
Without by-passing all unneeded towns?
What unknown places do we pass through,
To notice sights and people new,
That prick our imagination and curiousity?
Where do we stop unintended to explore and try,
To taste the…

View original post 173 more words

**poem with explicit themes and depressing as dead kittens on a barbecue**

15 Dec

To the man who broke me

To the man who broke me

That night alone on the bridge

When you stole my innocence away

To the man who held me

Down, pinned to the cold, wet ground

And stole a part of me, the heart of me away

To the man who heard me

Beg for mercy he wouldn’t give

And lie numb to the pain of my soul being leeched away

I hope one day you feel

The clenching in your stomach

The cold shivers, the sheer terror

The flashbacks that keep you up at night

I hope one day you’ll look

Out of your window and dread

Having to face the world

I hope one day I’ll meet you

And see in your eyes all of the pain

That you’ve put me through

Multiplied until all there is left

Of your already ruined humanity

Is horror

I hope one day you’ll feel regret

And beg for forgiveness

And I hope you see me

My crippled soul

And know you’ll never have it

You’ll never have my forgiveness

Like a dying man thirsting for redemption

Redemption you won’t receive

I hope you rot and burn

In your own personal hell

And feel all the pain you’ve caused

And I hope you suffer.

Rants and good things.

12 Dec

SO this post will probably end up being a bit of a strange mishmash of thoughts so be prepared for rambling nonsense.

I’m finally free from exams!! I’m so relieved just to have them finished but I’m now dreading the results. I know I’ve done my best and I really don’t think I could have done much more preparation for them as I’ve been revising for months. But I’m still really disappointed in certain aspects of each exam. My English Lit conclusions were awful, and they’re usually the sole salvation of my essays, my comp lit was a bit of a vague push towards a point I didn’t really believe in, so it was probably not at all convincing, and my theology essays were, well, where to start. They were supposed to be on spirituality in the Japanese tradition and in Sufism (Islamic mysticism)… They were actually a rant about how pointless I think flower arranging is and I mentioned (IN SUFISM!!) that I think Jesus would like my wellies. Why, you ask? I HAVE NO FREAKING IDEA. Not only was mentioning Jesus completely off the mark, there wasn’t even a possible link between spirituality in the Qur’an and early Islamic tradition and my wellies. I think I’m doomed.

I’m just trying not to think about them until the results are out. There’s no point worrying over something I can’t change now.

Anyway, I’m now spending a couple of days in bed, catching up on sleep and sorting out some blog/social networking stuff. I mentioned in my last post that I’d received a really mean homophobic message through one of my sites and I now seem to be attracting arguments from either side of the ‘gay’ debate. Not even the ‘gay marriage’ debate, which at least has some point to it. For some reason I’ve attracted some interesting and many insane comments and whatnot so I’m trying to decide what to do about it. As much as I am interested in lgbt issues and occasionally post interesting articles, I would not describe any of my blogs as gay activist or promotion or whatever else people are describing them as, and I’m really struggling to see why I’m attracting so much arguments. And I’m also pretty pissed that so many lgbt people are behaving just as ignorantly as the muppets telling me I’m the spawn of satan.

At some point this week I’m going to write a response/discussion/random airing of my views on all of this and post or link to it on all of my sites, and I’m going to respectfully ask that any homophobic/heterophobic/sexist comments be kept to yourself or else they will be deleted. I don’t like having to do that, I’m a strong believer that you should be allowed to voice your opinion, even if it’s something I disagree with, however there is a time and a place and my blogs/facebook/twitter/whatever is not that. If I had posted a comment or something that in some way started an argument or heated debate then fair enough, but I’d done nothing of the sort and I’m now being sent too many messages, particularly anonymous, vicious and hateful ones which I’m not going to put up with. But I will properly respond to this later on.

Right, so now that’s out of the way, I actually wanted to talk about some stuff.

First off, I’m a bit pissed at a couple of my friends right now, mostly because I don’t really know where I stand with them. One minute we’re really close, the next we’re barely speaking. I don’t know is we’re really good friends or just acquaintances that text/fb chat each other a lot. And I’m getting really really annoyed at the whole one word answers/putting no effort at all into conversations/forgetting I exist when they’ve got someone better to talk to. I’ve got no idea what to do about that, I feel like our friendships right now are completely one-sided and it’s too much hard work for me to keep them going when you’re not even making the slightest efforts. So I’m gonna do the thing I’ve been saying I’ll do for ages with this, I’m going to put in as much effort as they do. No point in me trying if they don’t actually want to speak to me/be friends/ whatever. So expect one word answers, half arsed sentences which invite no reply and pretty much my complete indifference to your life. If you put in a bit of effort, I will too, if you don’t, well, I guess we’re probably both better off out of this friendship completely.

Secondly, what the hell kind of person goes about picking fights on facebook? I have a couple of people I’m friends with (and won’t be just shortly) who are constantly picking arguments over nothing, being mean to people who are just stating an opinion or something and who are turning on other people writing comments that not only make them look like a complete bitch, but also actually turns them into a complete laughing stock and makes them appear completely ignorant about pretty much everything ranging from the issue they’re discussing to just generally being a decent human being. No. STOP IT NOW.

Thirdly, whoever made my washing machine/tumble dryer wants to do one. My washing was in there for a total of FOUR HOURS and it came out still stained and SOAKING WET despite it having been tumble drying for two hours. And no, it wasn’t over loaded it was THREE FREAKING JUMPERS. And it’s making really weird sounds and I’m too scared to use it more than once incase it explodes or comes alive and tries to eat me like it seems to be doing to all my socks. However, I finally manned up and started using conditioner as well as soap powder AND put these pouch things in the drum itself. For anyone who knows how genuinely terrified I am of this horror of a machine, this is one of the bravest things I’ve ever done. Ever.

So that’s some rants that’ve been brewing in my brain today. Here’s some happy stuff – – I’m starting to lose weight, I (mostly) have the best friends in the whole world (Sarah coming to look after me and get me drunk now I’m suffering post exam funk, Heather being amazing stopping me panicking so much, Livvi panicking along-side me, both Lauren’s for just being absolute babes, Kirsty who I’ve only just started talking to again after too long who’s just so ridiculously sweet it’s unreal, Hayley for her useful, constructive and slightly drunk advice on English essays, Kath for being so nice making me hot chocolate and pushing me through the bad bits and Jade buying me flowers, wine and lunch to celebrate my exams being over and just generally being her awesome, lovely self. And everyone I’ve forgot.), I just bought two bags full of vegetables and I’m gonna make soup and curries and stuff to freeze for when I can’t be bothered making an actual dinner but don’t fancy supernoodle sandwiches, I’m planning on spending the next few nights varying between drunken giggling and catatonia, I have so many good books lined up to read that AREN’T COURSE BOOKS YAYAYAY, I have no dishes to do right now, my flat is relatively tidy, I have wellies and icegrips so I’m prepared for the snow/slush/ice that’s forecast, I plan on emailing everyone I’ve been meaning to email, I’m gonna hunt out Mrs J’s spark notes books and return them because FOR THE LOVE OF GOD IT’S BEEN TWO YEARS ALREADY, I have reached level 76 on candy crush saga (a facebook game), I bought loads of new socks so my feet are dead toasty, I got to see my gran, Aunty Lorraine and Uncle Tom last weekend, which was great, I now have time ot start doing my day zero project stuff, I’m overjoyed at the prospect of going home and having my mum there to make me nice food and to eat biscuits (I’m refusing to buy them, they’re too much temptation…), I’ve got almost all my xmas shopping done, I’ve decided to start writing short stories again after stopping for so long, I’ve not fainted in forever, I don’t need to revise, I don’t have essays, I just discovered I’m actually an alright drawer (as in can draw stuff, not that I can store underwear really, really well…) and to top it all off I GET TO SLEEP IN AS LATE AS I WANT BECAUSE THERE’S NO SUCH THING AS EXAMS OR RESPONSIBILITY IN MY LIFE RIGHT NOW! YEEEEES!

Right, well, this is probably the longest post I’v ewritten to date and it’s about complete crap. Yes, my life is so exciting… Bye.

WHY COULDN’T GULLIVER JUST STAY HOME??

6 Dec

Satan worshipping all round!

1 Dec

I’m once again using wordpress to procrastinate. Urgh. I’m so ridiculously confused by my literature courses right now, I cannot even begin to explain my complete lack of preparation for these exams.

I do NOT understand what half of my Comp lit reading has to do with heroism! AH. And there’s little to nothing I can find in common between the novels/plays. I’m going to have to make it all up on a whim as per. *cries*

Hmm, I had a very amusing conversation with my lovely friend Hayley today. Apparently English teachers survive the day by worshipping Satan and drinking vodka, while R.E teachers get by with gin and cats. This is coming from a fully qualified teacher of both subjects. Not only does this explain a *hell* of a lot about my secondary school education, I’m starting to think I’ll fit right in. J

Speaking of Satan worshipping, I’ve had a couple of really horrible anonymous messages on one of my social networking sites, one of which said ‘You might as well worship saton, your going too hell anyway cos you’re a homo God wont accept you in heaven because your an unrepenntant siner.’ Yes, you can imagine how I responded to this. I may have suggested he did something terribly sinful with a dictionary… I usually don’t moan about these messages but it just pissed me off today for some reason. I’m sure if I believed in God I’d be greatly offended.

Hmm yes I really want to procrastinate right now. Anything to avoid these bloody exams. I’m unusually terrified right now. I just can’t shake the sheer dread at the prospect of failing. D:

I’ve been enjoying my unusually active social life. This week has been great, especially spending time with Livvi who I promised I’d write a whole paragraph about but I’m to freaked out to do so. So you have a whole sentence instead.  And I’m hopefully going to a comedy thing on Sunday. Oh my days, that’s tomorrow!? AHAHAHAHA EXAMS AHAHAHA. And my parents are coming up next weekend to do xmas shopping which means I’ve got to tidy my flat properly… D:

Okay, so I’m gonna go and  READ ABOUT A MAN WHO’S IN LOVE WITH A SNAKE. ‘CAUSE HE’S SOMEHOW A GODDAMN HERO. WHAT?!