Waiting for results is my least favourite thing

6 Jun

Okay, I’m the first person to admit that I’m pretty much the *worst* blogger ever. I don’t post anywhere near regularly, my grasp on basic grammar and spelling is sketchy at best, I never reply to comments, I promise to post stuff and don’t and I can go for months at a time without even signing in to wordpress. I’m sure by now you’ve figured all this out yourselves though, and I just wanted to say thank you for sticking with me regardless of my inability to do a thing. And as always, I’m sorry I suck at this and I’ll try and do better over the summer.

It’s been almost a week since I moved down for the summer and it’s all went better than I expected. I had assumed my mum would’ve found at least a hundred reasons to murder me by now, especially considering I’m still not unpacked. But I’m still alive and relatively unscathed from leaving Glasgow.

This time last year I couldn’t wait to get away. I was so relieved to be back home and I spent most of the summer worrying about having to go back to uni in September. It’s a completely different story now though. I don’t know when I started to think of Glasgow as as much my home as Eastriggs but I can’t wait to go back! I already miss my friends, the Uni (the library! *sobbing*) and just Glasgow in general. Who’d have thought it? After all the time I spent worrying during first year about Glasgow just not being a good fit for me and about never finding my place there, I’m already homesick and it’s been less than a week since I left. I can’t wait to get back.

Going back, of course, depends on me getting the right grades in my exams, the chances of me doing so this year are slim. I know I say every time I sit an exam that I’ve done badly in it, and I guess it’s a bit like the boy who cried wolf. I’ve worried myself sick over every exam I’ve ever done so this time when I tell someone I pretty much screwed all three of them up they just roll their eyes and assume I’m panicking for nothing. Usually, I am just panicking for nothing; this time, not so much. For a start, my fainting came back pretty badly this semester. I’ve missed more classes than I was able to because of that, and I know it’s affected the standard of work I’ve been doing.

I’m disappointed because I knew that it could be a problem and I thought I could handle it. My essays weren’t great and so I was relying on the exams to pull my grades back up. I guess I had hoped everything would be easier with the exams than the essays. I always stress more over essays than exams, probably because I’ve got more time to worry with them in front of me. And I was hoping that I’d be less stressed so my fainting wouldn’t be as bad. Of course, I was wrong. English and Comp lit were bad but theology was atrocious. I fainted in the middle of the exam and ended up only writing one and a half essays (instead of two) because I just couldn’t pull myself together after it. I’m hoping that because of the fainting I can resit, although I know that the chances are slim and the convenors might not accept a resit grade for entry into honours.

Argh, the results are due any day now, I guess all I can do is wait and see. Hopefully I’ll get the chance to resit the exams. I don’t know what I’ll do if I can’t get into honours next year. The thought of redoing second year just makes my heart sink. I know that repeating the year is not as bad as I feel it is, it’s just that I know I could have managed it this year, I’m actually pretty confident in my abilities in both of these subjects. Having to do the whole year again would just feel like a waste. I *can* do it, I have the skills I need to pass well but having to resit the whole year would be such a disappointment and I just feel like I’d have wasted a year of my life for nothing. Ugh. I really hope it doesn’t come to that but the English Lit convenor has said that the chances are most of the appeals won’t be accepted.

Anyway, I’m trying not to think about it. Denial is always the best option.

Right now I’m waiting to go to the dentist. I have really bad toothache and it’s driving me crazy. I used to handle pain pretty well and could battle through almost anything but now I’m just dissolving into a sobbing heap of ouch. Especially when it’s pain in my mouth or ear. OUCH. I am absolutely pathetic.

There’s a lot I had planned to say in this post, I’ve been offline for so long, both on here and on facebook (sorry, I’m not ignoring your messages I’m just not on fb much) and I know a lot has happened. But right now I’m just in a bit of a rubbish mood, I hate waiting for results and my tooth bloody hurts!

I’ll post again in a few days when I know the results and I’ll probably talk about something worthwhile rather than just rambling. (Haha, do I *ever* talk about anything worthwhile? O.O) Bye!


3 Responses to “Waiting for results is my least favourite thing”

  1. Jo June 6, 2013 at 2:07 pm #

    Good to see you’re back Jen! And I’m sure your convenor will help you to appeal! Good luck!

  2. John June 6, 2013 at 4:33 pm #

    Just stay positive, we all have faith in you

  3. KL June 9, 2013 at 5:55 pm #

    Welcome back Jen and good luck for the exams though I’m sure you won’t need it!

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