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Positive thinking!

12 Feb

Hey guys, just thought I’d write a quick post and update everyone on how fabulous life is lately.

It’s two in the morning right now and I’ve been watching youtube videos for roughly six hours (no regrets) but I figure it’s about time to do something mildly constructive.

Is it weird that despite being full of optimism and motivation, now that I’ve finally sat down to write something about it I can’t really figure out why? I guess I’m just in a very good place, and surrounded by amazing people who are so exciting and engaging and their zest and positivity is contagious! My courses are challenging but interesting and even though I’m spending most of my time just trying to keep on top of it (and failing, unfortunately) I’ve regained my drive and interest for the topics I’m studying; I wasn’t really feeling it last semester. I’ve been too afraid to get my essays back, I’m putting it off for as long as I can because I don’t want to knock my confidence with what is inevitably going to be bad grades. (I know I say this every year but I did hand the two most important ones in two days late, which drops it down an entire band…) But I’m hoping (nay, determined) that this semester I’ll do better. Already I’ve arranged two weekly study sessions with friends so we can keep each other motivated and have a little consistency!

After a horrible few months with being ill and unhealthy and having serious sleeping/eating/basically just living day to day problems, the last month I’ve done a complete 180. Again. Feeling so much healthier, finally stopped eating crap or going for days with next to no food. And my sleeping pattern is back to normal. Or as normal as any student gets (damn you youtube and tumblr). And I’ve not been feeling ill/exhausted/unable to get out of bed. So it’s been a fabulous month. AND I’ve gotten back into exercising (Jillian Michaels is equal parts Goddess and monster).

I’ve decided on an AMAZING essay for my Bible, lit and culture class which means I get to examine biblical influences on the works of the Bronte sisters *squeels*. (NO ONE IS SHARING MY ENTHUSIASM FOR THIS, SOMEONE NEEDS TO UNDERSTAND HOW INCREDIBLY FANTASTIC THIS TOPIC IS!!!!!!!!). And my Buddhism essay is going to be on a seriously insane theory which basically says nothing in the world exists. It’s something I’ve come across before and can’t decide whether I agree/disagree or am just too mentally inept to contemplate this idea, but I’m super interested in it either way! My 17th C literature course kinda sucks, but I fully expected it to and it’s actually not *as* bad as I feared.

Outside of uni things have been getting better and better! I’ve done so many fun/exciting things, starting with going to see the AMAZING ‘Miss Julie’, a play which is on at the Citizens theatre and stars SUPER AMAZING AND TALENTED LOUISE BREALEY *FANGIRLS*. It was amazing and I don’t think I can put into words how captivating the entire performance was! And it was terrifying as well. (But I really wish there’d been a warning about how brutal/violent it could get. Not prepared for that.) I went to the play with H and afterwards we went on what was a pretty epic pub-crawl (and proudly boasting we managed a night out with only five drinks, although one cocktail glass was LITERALLY THE SIZE OF MY FACE).

Also, I got to catch up with my friend while she was back over for the week. Always a great thing to do, I’ve missed her! And I had a lovely meal at another new friend’s flat (and it’s made me seriously addicted to risotto, I’ve cooked it twice last week!). And I’ve been experimenting with my cooking and using Lisa and a couple of other barely-willing participants to test them out. No one’s been poisoned but Vi nearly threw up when I showed her my first attempt at sugar free chocolate biscuits. Don’t ask, you couldn’t even imagine.

And I’ve been reading loads lately! I’m considering maybe doing a post every now and then with book recs. Or album recs actually because I’ve really started paying attention to music again! But to summarise; A Song of Ice and Fire series: MIND BLOWING, The Fault in Our Stars: I WILL NEVER FORGIVE JOHN GREEN, and 17th Centuray Travel Writings: MAKE ME WANT TO CLAW MY EYES OUT IN THE WORST POSSIBLE WAY.

ALSO ALSO ALSO I’ve achieved four amazing things this week! Firstly, I managed to do ten (modified) push ups!!!! I’m aware pretty much everyone reading this is rolling their eyes at me right now but this is pretty much the toughest thing I’ve done in ages! My arm strength is about equivalent to that of a six year old child with no arms. So to be able to actually do this WITH CORRECT FORM AND EVERYTHING made my week!!! AND secondly I have done three loads of washing, which I’ve been procrastinating for forever because if I do the washing I need to get the clothes horse out and to get the clothed horse out I need to get under the bed and to get under the bed I need to make room to move the crap rom under my bed and to move the crap out from under my bed I need to… Well, you get the picture. Basically I’d have to actually get my shit together in order to manage something as simple as putting a washing on and it’s so much easier to procrastinate. But I did it because I’m an unstoppable force this week, as THE THIRD BIG ACHIEVEMENT AND ARGUABLY THE BEST THING I’VE EVER MANAGED TO ACCOMPLISH is getting to level 38 on flappy bird. (It’s less that I managed to get a half decent score and more that I didn’t rage quit and throw my phone at a wall while doing it.) And finally, I started level two of the workout dvd I’m doing, which I’ve always been too scared to do before because THERE’S SO MANY PLANK MOVES. But I did it today, even managed to do 3/4’s of the moves in advanced mode and I didn’t feel like I wanted to die at the end of it, only vaguely contemplating jumping off of a cliff to never have to do it again.

On that note, I’m going to go to bed. I’ll probably write soon in the not so distant future because things are good and I am filled with motivation and determination and  all things fluffy rainbow sparkles. God, who am I?!?!

PS I’m uploading this now (the next day) while procrastinating getting dressed to go and buy food. It’s a hard life I live guys, you’ve no idea. To quote my earlier tweet ‘How am I supposed to make the most of my life if I’m too lazy to put on trousers?’. *sighs dramatically* 

29 Nov

I have a 2500 word essay due today which I’ve barely finished the reading for.

I have been up all night and have exactly 12 hours and 12 minutes left to write this thing and there is no coffee in the flat.

It’s quarter to five in the morning and I’m making barbecue chicken wings for dinner/breakfast.

I haven’t changed out of my pyjamas for at least 48 hours and I’m genuinely ashamed to admit how much green tea I’ve consumed since I woke up this morning.

I don’t know when this became an acceptable mode of conduct but I’m seriously beginning to question my life choices.

On another note, the three bottles of wine in my fridge are looking pretty damn tempting right about now.

And yes, yes I am writing this in another ridiculous attempt at procrastination.

You can judge me if you want, I’m so far beyond caring.

Turning Twenty, Cruella Deville and Masturbating Monks?

8 Nov

Okay, okay, okay. YES I realise it’s been over 5 months since I last posted on here and I’M SORRY. Honestly?  I just abandoned it all summer and by the time Uni started back up I’d been procrastinating so long I couldn’t bring myself to *actually* write anything. And as soon as my courses started I’ve been SO BUSY that blogging about HOW BUSY I AM is the last thing on my mind. Right now though I’ve had an incredibly productive day and thought I’d keep the forward momentum going for a little bit longer (until I inevitably collapse in an exhausted heap and just read A song of Ice and Fire all night and eat some carrots…)

Right. This is, as always, ridiculously long, and so I’ve decided to throw in some photos, if I manage to put them on properly!

Well, the last thing I posted on here was actually about having passed my exams. Ye gods, I’ve really abandoned you all haven’t I?!  So much has happened and I’ve got loads to talk about (for once) but I have no idea where to start!

Uni’s been AMAZING. I can’t even begin to explain how excited I am by all of my courses! I’m taking three different classes this semester: Victorian Literature, The Bible – Literature and Culture and Buddhism. Next semester I’ll be replacing Vic Lit with ‘Pre-modern’ stuff, which I’m not looking forward to, mostly because I’ll be seriously upset at Vic Lit class being over!

For those of you who don’t know, I’m absolutely obsessed with literature from the Victorian era. The majority of my favourite authors were writing in this time which is what got me hooked but I think the more I’m delving into the literature, and the more I’m getting to know the time period, the more fascinating it is! So much change is happening and I just love the way these changes are approached so differently! AH I’m not going to go into it now because I could genuinely go on for hours!

My reading list for Vic Lit is both incredible and slightly disappointed. I had hoped that we’d be studying the Bronte sisters (the coursebook had implied it) but sadly they’re not on the list. Neither is a few others I’d been desperate to finally get my teeth into. However I think, for the most part, the texts we are studying make up for the ones we’re not! Hardy’s Jude the Obscure, Wilde’s The Picture of Dorian Gray, Wilkie Collins The Moonstone, H.G. Wells The Island of Dr Moreau, George Elliot Silas Marner, Joseph Sheridan Le Fanu Carmilla, some Robert Browning poems, a bit of Elizabeth Barrett Browning, D.G Rosetti and a few poets focussing on ‘Poetry and religious belief’ which is my absolute favourite topic for poetry and is one of my favourite parts of the course thus far! AND to top it off, my new favourite novel, replacing even Austen’s Persuasion and Bronte’s Jane Eyre *drumroll please* Gaskell’s North and South!!!!!!!! I’d actually borrowed the series adaptation of this book in sixth year and I loved it (mainly because Richard Armitage was in it and hot damn…) and so I knew I would enjoy the book. I finally finished reading it last week (staying up until four in the morning because I couldn’t put it down once I’d started!) and, as predicted, I’m obsessed. I’ve bored all of my friends to tears going on about it! AAAAH so good!!!

Anyway, my other courses are great to, for the most part. I was really excited about Buddhism and it’s been a jump from last year, which I was seriously hoping for because I ended up really bored! And there’s a lot more focus on texts than there’s been in any of the other levels I’ve studied it at, which can only be a good thing!

As much as I went into the course with high hopes, though, the last two weeks haven’t really caught my interest. Today, for example, we spent most of the time discussing masturbating monks. As interesting as I’m sure that is to some people, it just made me feel vaguely queasy. I can understand how it’s relevant (he used that text to explain the Vinaya, basically the rule book for Buddhist monks and nuns, and how it was laid out) and I do get that by using something so unusual we’re not likely to forget it in a hurry, but there are so many things about the texts that would have been more worthwhile discussing. When, in all honesty, am I likely to discuss the masturbation habits of Buddhist monks in the early 5th Century? Hopefully never, ever again.

Aside from the last two weeks or so I’ve really enjoyed it though and I’m really hoping it’s just because of the material we’re having to cover (it’s definitely dry reading and I appreciate the lecturer’s just trying to liven it up a bit). Hopefully it’ll pick up again soon!

And Bible lit and culture is okay. I’m not overly enthusiastic as yet, but I’m getting into it more and more and I am definitely enjoying it!

Okay, so yes, Uni’s great. It’s been a really big leap this year in the amount of work though. I have to admit it’s definitely overwhelming! I’m keeping on top of it just now but I’m definitely going grey with the stress of managing it all!

Aside from uni, it’s been a pretty fantastic five months! What’s happened? I’m trying to write this all down in some sort of coherent order and failing badly.

Well, this summer I’ve been doing a lot!

We went to my cousin, Amy’s, wedding. It was beautiful and Amy looked stunning. (I’m not gonna put a pic up because it’s a public blog but trust me, she was like a princess!)

My Gran!


Uncle Tom and Aunty Ann

un an

Me, Mum and Bethany 

me mum beth]

Me, Dad, Aunty Ann, Mum, Uncle Tom!


And I’ve had quite a few amazing days out with my friends from down the road! One that springs to mind was Riding of the Marches, which is always something to write home about, if not always for the reasons you’d hoped… It was actually really good though, most people made it, and I think everyone had a bit much to drink (it’s ROM though, who doesn’t end up drunk?!). And I ended up breaking a flipflop on the floor of The Shed (a pub in Annan) because it was so sticky. Classy.

Lauren and Lisa. This photo pretty much sums them up.

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Pamela. Again, I’d say this pretty much sums her up *ducks*

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Finlay (sorry you’re blue)


Me and Jess

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EXTREME DRUNK CLOSEUP. Because I can’t judge distance after my fifth vodka okaaaaay.


And a few weeks later a couple of my friends from down the road came up to Glasgow for Pride, which was brilliant, so busy and loud and bright and just absolutely amazing! We marched with the parade, had a delicious lunch in the centre and spent way too long looking at all the gorgeous jewellery on the stalls!

AND I gave my little sister a make-over. She’s three years younger than me, and rarely wears make up, but when she does it’s like I have a doppelgänger!

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Actually, a few of my friends were up recently for Halloween/ my birthday and my friend, Lisa’s birthday. It was an AMAZING night, we went to Polo and, yes, once again everyone ended up pretty drunk! Yes, I did dress up as Cruella Deville. And yes, I ended up abandoning the wig when we hit polo and realised we were the only ones dressed up! (luckily it was Polo we went to though, there’s always some weirdly dressed folk in that club!)

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Incase you didn’t know, Pamela’s a midget. I’m not just unusually tall. 

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And this lovely photo, after several apple sours, turned into….


^^ THIS IS MY FAVOURITE PHOTO EVER. It’s perfect in every way.

We even caught a picture of Connor in his leisure wear, which I’m sure most of our mutual friends would love to see!


He’s a princess, what can I say?

I especially loved Pamela staying on for an extra day and getting to hang out with her! And do stereotypically girly things like drink hot chocolate and try on clothes. 😀

But I had an amazing birthday! Highlights were my parents getting me a blender (I’ve been desperate for one since I moved back up the road and realised I couldn’t make smoothies!!) and my sister baking me a cake

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And then setting it on fire

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OOOOOH also, as you’ve probably guessed by now, I did manage to get a flat this year despite, as most of my twitter followers will have realised, my serious doubts on the matter! Actually, it’s on the adjoining street with my old flat! And it’s pretty much identical inside too, except it looks a lot nicer, cleaner brighter and costs me more money >.< *sighs*

Lately my front door’s been broken though, and so whenever I order a taxi it still has to go to Dick Street and I still get the cheek from the taxi service who thinks I’m winding them up.

What else do I have to tell you?

OH, yes, I mentioned earlier I’ve had a productive day! Well, after uni I decided to go for a walk into Partick because my student loan’s just came in and I am in desperate need of some new tops that aren’t hanging off me! So I went for a wee browse and ended up buying three full bags of clothes! They were an amazing bargain though, and I really do need them!  Then I went into the centre and decided I might as well make a start on my Christmas shopping. And start I did; by about four o’clock I was weighed down with tons of bags, having successfully BOUGHT EVERYTHING I NEEDED TO FOR CHRISTMAS, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO; PRESENTS, CARDS, WRAPPING, CRACKERS, DECORATIONS, AND THE TRADITIONAL CHRISTMAS SOCKS. Yes ladies and gentlemen, you heard right, it is the 8th of November and I have already finished my Christmas shopping!!!!! Everything’s wrapped and ready to be delivered! Safe to say, I’m feeling pretty smug knowing in a month’s time you’ll all be rushing about in a panic buying your gifts while I can sit back with my feet up (nice and cosy in my new socks) and laugh at your pain. *cackles*

On top of that, I walked five miles without even noticing, which was great and made me feel less guilty about my McFlurry!

That’s another thing that I’m kinda hesitant to talk about, mostly because I don’t want to jinx it. I’ve been working out and eating green stuff. I know, I know, you’re all sitting staring at me in shock. Well, I kinda had to! I’d put on a hell of a lot of weight since starting uni, more so than ever in the last year and it was starting to mess up my health again: the fainting was coming back and stuff. It wasn’t good. So I just bit the bullet and accepted that the only way to get better was to make myself better by thinking better and being better. And it’s working! I’m a lot healthier, I’ve got so much more energy and, up until the last month I’ve been coming on in leaps and bounds! I’ve actually been eating more than I was before, but it’s been so much healthier and *GREEN*!

Unfortunately, and rather typically, I’ve managed to do myself an injury. OF COURSE I DID. I’m trying to get healthier and stronger and I MANAGE TO DAMAGE A BLOODY TENDON. I’m annoyed at myself but also just *eyerolls to infinity*. I mean, there are really no words here. Of course I did. It’s taking ages to heal, and I wasn’t allowed to do any impact exercises for three weeks (it’s been five now and it’s still buggered so I’m going to have to go to physio). It’s annoying that it’s affected me so much. I’ve been moping about it too, so haven’t been eating as healthily and the last month I’ve not really made much of an improvement on any score. Thankfully I’ve not piled on loads of weight, so I guess I’m not doing too badly but I can tell everything’s just sort of sunk since it started. My mood’s been really low too, and I know it’s because I’ve not been eating right and everything. It’s kind of scary how much it brings me down to go back to the way I was just five months ago!

I really can’t explain what a huge difference it’s made to everything since I started trying to get healthier, and I’m not going to because I know it bores everyone stupid when someone goes on about getting healthy/fitness related stuff. But yeah, just thought I’d post about it since it has become such a big part of my life now! And it’s the reason I need all the new clothes! Lost thirty pounds and three dress sizes, everything I put on looks like a bloody tent now!

Yeah, so things have been going fabulously well! I’m not doing any creative writing still, and I’m not even going to go into how messed up it all is. Another rant for another post.

Anyway, I’m going to try and keep this blog a little more up to date. At least, I promise I won’t leave it another 5 months before I post again! I’m also thinking about adding more photos on here too. And maybe, eventually, creative writing but I can’t, and won’t, make promises on that score.

Congratulations, you survived the ridiculously long blog post!!!! 😀

Also, I know the formatting on this sucks, I don’t really know how to deal with putting photos on here yet! Sorry!

Waiting for results is my least favourite thing

6 Jun

Okay, I’m the first person to admit that I’m pretty much the *worst* blogger ever. I don’t post anywhere near regularly, my grasp on basic grammar and spelling is sketchy at best, I never reply to comments, I promise to post stuff and don’t and I can go for months at a time without even signing in to wordpress. I’m sure by now you’ve figured all this out yourselves though, and I just wanted to say thank you for sticking with me regardless of my inability to do a thing. And as always, I’m sorry I suck at this and I’ll try and do better over the summer.

It’s been almost a week since I moved down for the summer and it’s all went better than I expected. I had assumed my mum would’ve found at least a hundred reasons to murder me by now, especially considering I’m still not unpacked. But I’m still alive and relatively unscathed from leaving Glasgow.

This time last year I couldn’t wait to get away. I was so relieved to be back home and I spent most of the summer worrying about having to go back to uni in September. It’s a completely different story now though. I don’t know when I started to think of Glasgow as as much my home as Eastriggs but I can’t wait to go back! I already miss my friends, the Uni (the library! *sobbing*) and just Glasgow in general. Who’d have thought it? After all the time I spent worrying during first year about Glasgow just not being a good fit for me and about never finding my place there, I’m already homesick and it’s been less than a week since I left. I can’t wait to get back.

Going back, of course, depends on me getting the right grades in my exams, the chances of me doing so this year are slim. I know I say every time I sit an exam that I’ve done badly in it, and I guess it’s a bit like the boy who cried wolf. I’ve worried myself sick over every exam I’ve ever done so this time when I tell someone I pretty much screwed all three of them up they just roll their eyes and assume I’m panicking for nothing. Usually, I am just panicking for nothing; this time, not so much. For a start, my fainting came back pretty badly this semester. I’ve missed more classes than I was able to because of that, and I know it’s affected the standard of work I’ve been doing.

I’m disappointed because I knew that it could be a problem and I thought I could handle it. My essays weren’t great and so I was relying on the exams to pull my grades back up. I guess I had hoped everything would be easier with the exams than the essays. I always stress more over essays than exams, probably because I’ve got more time to worry with them in front of me. And I was hoping that I’d be less stressed so my fainting wouldn’t be as bad. Of course, I was wrong. English and Comp lit were bad but theology was atrocious. I fainted in the middle of the exam and ended up only writing one and a half essays (instead of two) because I just couldn’t pull myself together after it. I’m hoping that because of the fainting I can resit, although I know that the chances are slim and the convenors might not accept a resit grade for entry into honours.

Argh, the results are due any day now, I guess all I can do is wait and see. Hopefully I’ll get the chance to resit the exams. I don’t know what I’ll do if I can’t get into honours next year. The thought of redoing second year just makes my heart sink. I know that repeating the year is not as bad as I feel it is, it’s just that I know I could have managed it this year, I’m actually pretty confident in my abilities in both of these subjects. Having to do the whole year again would just feel like a waste. I *can* do it, I have the skills I need to pass well but having to resit the whole year would be such a disappointment and I just feel like I’d have wasted a year of my life for nothing. Ugh. I really hope it doesn’t come to that but the English Lit convenor has said that the chances are most of the appeals won’t be accepted.

Anyway, I’m trying not to think about it. Denial is always the best option.

Right now I’m waiting to go to the dentist. I have really bad toothache and it’s driving me crazy. I used to handle pain pretty well and could battle through almost anything but now I’m just dissolving into a sobbing heap of ouch. Especially when it’s pain in my mouth or ear. OUCH. I am absolutely pathetic.

There’s a lot I had planned to say in this post, I’ve been offline for so long, both on here and on facebook (sorry, I’m not ignoring your messages I’m just not on fb much) and I know a lot has happened. But right now I’m just in a bit of a rubbish mood, I hate waiting for results and my tooth bloody hurts!

I’ll post again in a few days when I know the results and I’ll probably talk about something worthwhile rather than just rambling. (Haha, do I *ever* talk about anything worthwhile? O.O) Bye!

So I’ve been lying in bed all day drowning in self pity and reading fanfiction about me having sex with Elizabeth Bennet… This is life.

16 Jan

Okay guys, I’m sorry, I know I’ve once again neglected this blog. I’d like to tell you all I’ve not posted because I’ve been so productive, creative and generally living an exciting and fulfilling life. I haven’t. I’ve been lying in bed. And feeling ill. And sleeping. But mostly just lying here… eating maltesers….


My first fortnight back at uni’s been a bit of a disaster, mostly because I’ve barely made it in. And I feel pretty terrible about that. I’m a bit worried about falling behind.

Christmas and New Year was a bit of a mixed bag. I’ve had a few bad bits, but thankfully mostly good. Until about the 2nd of January or something when I started being ill!! (I’M SO PATHETIC. I’M SICK. SOMEONE COME FEED ME SOUP.) Yeah, so I’ve been neglecting not just this blog but facebook, twitter, tumblr, emails, texting, skype and lj. When I went back online a couple of days ago to try and catch up with everyone I had several concerned messages asking if I’d died. This actually just highlights how ridiculously dependant and obsessed I am with social networking, when the fact I’ve been off it for a fortnight genuinely leads to people becoming concerned I HAD DIED.

So I’m once again outrageously behind on my reading lists. Well, I’m not, I’m actually on time and have read everything we’re going to be studying for the next two weeks. BUT compared to what I would normally be like, I’M SO BEHIND AND I’M PANICKING BECAUSE THERE’S SO MANY FREAKING BOOKS. I’m not sure how I feel about this term’s texts yet. Realising we’re doing Oscar Wilde has completely made my semester. But I’ve never heard of/don’t know much about any of the other texts for English. And comp lit… I mean… what even? The list is pretty soul destroying when you think about it… But I’m determined to withhold judgement this year until I’ve actually read them.

I’m learning about Islam in theology. Yes. Can’t you feel the joy radiating from me at the prospect of this semester? *sobs*

I’ve written a really bad poem. It would be nice if someone could help make it not so bad? Or not, you know. I’ll post it anyway. Seriously guys I need help. I can’t even call what I do poetry. Poetry’s supposed to have some sort of structure/rhyme/rhythm or just some sort of emotional appeal. I just write words wrongly strung together in an attempt to convey nonsense thoughts. Can someone just teach me how to write? *sobs again*

Oh yeah, I noticed this morning that my ‘For Soon To Be Students’ pages are getting a good couple thousand hits this week. I’m assuming it’s ucas results time or something? Anyway, I was looking over what I’d written for it and kind of freaked out. WHAT WAS I DOING WITH ALL THOSE COMMAS??? Everyone knows I have *the* worst punctuation skills known to man. But reading that back I couldn’t stop cringing. AHAHAHA. I’d gone a bit comma crazy. I’ve edited the commas out now. But holy mother of god…. Does someone want to recommend a book/website that would teach me the basics of punctuation/sentence structure? I’m deadly serious about this now. I KNOW NOTHING. I need to learn this from about primary school level upwards. Cause as you can all tell, my writing is pretty atrocious. So yeah, any sort of punctuation/grammar/sentence structure websites aimed at 12 year olds would come in really handy right now. Please?

OHHHH!!!! I also need to say thank you to the brilliant, but also slightly crazy ElsinorDarcy08 for writing a fanfic about me! Firstly, this is a little bit insane. But Elsinor is a little bit insane. I don’t know if I’ve mentioned on here but she’s asked me to send her some of my hair along with an autographed picture… You can kind of see the sort of person she is from that. She’s attempted to make a ‘jenchay fandom’. And she cried when I skyped her and said it was the best day of her life… The internet is a scary place guys. But yeah…

Her fanfic was called ‘Jenchay in Pemberly’. She’s not published it online (and I’m kinda glad because if somehow my parents came across it I’m pretty sure they’d both have heart attacks…) 

In this eighteen chapters long fanfiction I (the ‘spunky, hot, sarcastic dominatrix’) pretty much rock up in Pemberly, defile Elizabeth Bennet in ways you couldn’t possibly imagine, end up murdering Mr Darcy through some sort of bondage gone wrong scenario and pretty much lesbify the entire Pride and Prejudice world….

WOW. I appreciate the kind gesture Elsinor, really I do. It was lovely. And the fact you’ve spent so much of your own time writing about me having sex is… well… actually it’s pretty concerning. I think you should talk to someone about it. 

BUT I am in full support of having my own fandom. Clearly one day I am going to be queen of the internet and all fanfic will revolve around my steamy lesbian romps with Jane Austen’s maidens. 

 I’m going to leave you all with that delightful image now. Bye. 

Thank you!

18 Dec

Okay, so, I’ve had fifty thousand views on here since I posted that poem two (ish) days ago…. O.o WHAT? Um, thank you to everyone who’s read it and liked or commented on it, I do really appreciate all the positive (and negative) feedback. But I still think you’re all insane.

I’m not going to say much in this post, most of you know from Tumblr/Twitter I’ve been having a strange few days! Today was great though, managed to not get trampled on in the madness that is Sauchiehall Street a week before Christmas and met Heather and her Fiance for a walk round the Christmas fair! And then had to wrap about a bajillion presents, which is probably my least favourite thing to do!

And now I’ve had a lovely night with friends exchanging gifts and getting incredibly drunk! Do you know, I was asked the other day why I follow my own blog, and my reply is I do so much of my blogging completely hammered, I need the email alerts in the morning to remind me what I’ve said/ that I’ve written at all. It’s a tough life.

I’m heading home tomorrow, kind of glad to get away from here for a while. All this ‘having a life’ stuff’s very draining. No wonder I’ve avoided it the past 19 years.

I actually wanted to complain about something, but I’ve forgotten what it is so it can’t be that important.

I really only wanted to say thank you to everyone! I’ve been shocked, overwhelmed and completely confused at the amount of attention my last ‘poem’ received! So thanks. And I shall be blasting some more crap poetry your way soon, seeing as it’s clearly what you’re all into now. I’m hoping to use Christmas to get back into writing prose. We’ll say.

Anyway, I’d better love you and leave you, I’m completely shattered and ready to drop. Goodnight!

15 Dec

AAlibrary's Blog

Just the other day I passed a link to  this website to colleague and teacher of English at Annan Academy Graeme Cooper, together with a cryptic note “How about it?”. Our Mr Cooper is a recently published  and talented poet(see him blush) and I’m sure you will all agree after reading his poem below. Fellow librarians say the poem should be published as a poster to display in our libraries.I for one, would buy one for home too.

Journey’s End?

Why do we,
Need a library,
When to search on line,
Does the job just fine?
Takes us straight to what we want to see?
Because of what we miss along the way.
For what journeys do we go on now,
Without by-passing all unneeded towns?
What unknown places do we pass through,
To notice sights and people new,
That prick our imagination and curiousity?
Where do we stop unintended to explore and try,
To taste the…

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6 Dec

Satan worshipping all round!

1 Dec

I’m once again using wordpress to procrastinate. Urgh. I’m so ridiculously confused by my literature courses right now, I cannot even begin to explain my complete lack of preparation for these exams.

I do NOT understand what half of my Comp lit reading has to do with heroism! AH. And there’s little to nothing I can find in common between the novels/plays. I’m going to have to make it all up on a whim as per. *cries*

Hmm, I had a very amusing conversation with my lovely friend Hayley today. Apparently English teachers survive the day by worshipping Satan and drinking vodka, while R.E teachers get by with gin and cats. This is coming from a fully qualified teacher of both subjects. Not only does this explain a *hell* of a lot about my secondary school education, I’m starting to think I’ll fit right in. J

Speaking of Satan worshipping, I’ve had a couple of really horrible anonymous messages on one of my social networking sites, one of which said ‘You might as well worship saton, your going too hell anyway cos you’re a homo God wont accept you in heaven because your an unrepenntant siner.’ Yes, you can imagine how I responded to this. I may have suggested he did something terribly sinful with a dictionary… I usually don’t moan about these messages but it just pissed me off today for some reason. I’m sure if I believed in God I’d be greatly offended.

Hmm yes I really want to procrastinate right now. Anything to avoid these bloody exams. I’m unusually terrified right now. I just can’t shake the sheer dread at the prospect of failing. D:

I’ve been enjoying my unusually active social life. This week has been great, especially spending time with Livvi who I promised I’d write a whole paragraph about but I’m to freaked out to do so. So you have a whole sentence instead.  And I’m hopefully going to a comedy thing on Sunday. Oh my days, that’s tomorrow!? AHAHAHAHA EXAMS AHAHAHA. And my parents are coming up next weekend to do xmas shopping which means I’ve got to tidy my flat properly… D:


There’s nothing of value in this post at all. My brain sucks.

29 Nov

WELL, Hello everyone.

It’s been an odd few weeks. Exams are coming up; I’m a bit stressed about it. And by a bit stressed I mean I’m about to have a mental breakdown. But we’ll pretend that’s not happening. In fact, let’s just pretend there’s gonna be no exams ever. EVER.

Hmm, it has been an amazing week. Monday I went to a talk by ALASDAIR GRAY!!!!! And got my books signed and spoke to him and AHAHAHA! I’m a HUGE fan and I was ridiculously excited to go to see him. AHAHA!! And I had a nice lunch and dinner with different friends. Tuesday was filled with tea with friends, as was today. And last night was brilliant at the Ceilidh. Wasn’t sure whether I was going to go or not but I’m really glad I did! I ACTUALLY DANCED. Once, and it was a slow waltz… BUT IT COUNTS. I didn’t even fall over!!! And went to polo again and didn’t get lost this time!  And was cuddling. A lot. And cuddling today too. 😀 ❤

I’m attempting to figure out my English Lit stuff but I’m totally drowning under it. Feel really disappointed in the lectures this year. The majority of the lectures are totally irrelevant to the course subject and I just don’t think I’ve really gotten much out of my course this year. Comp lit’s sort of the same actually, but it’s not too bad, given it’s only one lecture a week I didn’t really have much hope for getting a lot out of it. Theology’s still going good though. I’m worried about it, but not to the point I’m ready to throw myself out of a high building.

I’ve got quite a lot to talk about but I’m just so so so so so tired. I wanted to post something today though, cause I’ve neglected you all again. L I’ll write another post soon when my brain starts working again.