Okay, so this is the first sonnet I’ve ever written. It’s mostly not in Iambic pentameter and it’s contents are crap not very good but it’s really just an experiment to see how I get on.

So, as always criticism is much desired! And help with rhythm would be grand!

Here goes.

So says the Fairy God Mother. 

So there’s this new chick I’m working for, right?

Cinders is her name. She’s one of these New-

Age women; all liberation and ‘fight

For rights’, hairy pits, equality spew.

Apparently a days hard graft demeans

Her bloody human rights. So now she’s all

Up in arms, demanding all of her dreams

Be fulfilled and I get her to the ball.

All right dear Cinders, if that’s your request,

I shall magic you up a pretty dress,

A carriage and horses, only the best,

And I’m sure your night will be a success.

But you’ve only got ’til twelve with your prince;

You’ll be home early, you’ve dishes to rinse.


This was inspired by Alasdair Roberts song of the same name.

Merry Wake

As they danced by the banks of the river,

And they laughed, and a merry tune they sung,

And they promised to love me forever,

And through the air their joyous voices rung,

And when to the depth of the Clyde I dropped,

And they gaily ‘celebrated my life’,

Nobody noticed, and nobody stopped,

None, save my own sweet bride, my darling wife.

And the black veil hid her tears from their sight,

And in the depth of her heart, her pain stirred,

And she lost her love to sorrow that night.

Is this how I am to be remembered?

Oh, my bonnie darling what will it take,

To make you smile, smile at my Merry Wake?


Of staring at you, trying to speak, and impress.


It started with a flutter in my chest,

A clenching in my stomach, a dryness,

Turning my tongue into a useless lump,

Vapid in my mouth. I try nonetheless,

To speak to you, to impress you with my

Poor attempts at humour, all my bad jokes

Seeming to find a voice at once. I try to

Fight past the nervousness that you evoke

In me, to make some kind of mark. To say

Something, anything, that will make you see

Me, make you look at me, and remember

Me. Remember I exist. Remember me.

But I see you look at me, not caring,

Of that lonely girl sitting, staring.


Stay with me through the night.


I’ve never felt more comfortable than

I do, wrapped soundly in your arms. Held tight

Against the cold and bitter darkness. Can

You stay here and hold me through the long night?

Will you stay here and fight the ghosts and ghouls

That haunt me through the night? Stay here with me

My darling, comforting me as sleep pulls

Me to its depth and takes me through a sea

Of dreams. Will you wait for my slumber, dear?

Will you hold me, love me and hold me tight?

Will you be there to fight away the fear?

Will you stay with me, through the long, dark night?

Say you will, my sweet, hold me as I sleep

Or I shall be alone, and I shall weep.


5 Responses to “Sonnets”

  1. sandrabranum November 29, 2011 at 11:47 pm #

    I love Merry Wake. It’s so true and profound.

    • Jennifer Hay November 30, 2011 at 12:03 am #

      🙂 Thank you. I’m glad you liked it. I just wish that the song was on youtube, but he hasn’t recorded it yet. It’s amazing.

  2. granbee November 30, 2011 at 9:34 pm #

    Spewing equality with hairy pits in a magiced-up pretty dress? This is FAR more of an accurate picture of Gen Y’s imaginations of themselves that most would guess! So neat of you to tackle this concept in a sonnet. And you certainly were wise in your choice of inspirational song. Very Gaelic–love it! As far as helping you with rhythms go, the only way I ever come close to my own aspirations for a rhythmical poem is getting up, stomping around the room to beat out the words just written. I think you are well on you way. The most important thing, you have just done: you STARTED! You WROTE it down and shared it! Way to go. Hope you will also give me feedback at!

    • Jennifer Hay December 4, 2011 at 2:10 am #

      🙂 Thank you! I’m glad you liked it! And I’ll admit, I’m now driving my flatmates crazy stomping about like a mad woman! I’ll be heading your way again shortly!

  3. j4n December 15, 2012 at 3:17 pm #

    Dear Jen, these have ripened since I first read them, or the day reveals
    a level of understanding that was always within them.
    Please, write more poetry…now and then.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: