Tag Archives: chopping board

You know you’re a student when…

21 Dec

So, while trying to write a poem about student life, I thought I’d make a list of things that make you feel like a student…

You know you’re a student when…

  • your hair straighteners are used not to straighten your hair, but to iron your clothes.
  • you can no longer afford toilet paper and stealing from the Unions has become perfectly acceptable.
  • you have an endless to-do list but Scrubs, drinking and sleeping take precedence.
  • the dirty washing on your floor passes the ‘sniff test’ even after Three Days.
  • your fire alarm goes off and your hangover tells you, burning to death is preferable to leaving bed.
  • mince, tomato sauce and rice are the constituents of your fanciest dinner of the month.
  • you sneak handfulls of sauce sachets out of the restaurant in your bra.
  • there’s no clean spoons so it’s acceptable to stir your tea with a pen.
  • after using your chopping board the underside is dirtier than the top.
  • being sober for more than four days feels physically painful.
  • cheese is expensive but cheap Vodka is not.
  • the Primark Onsies alleviate any need for central heating.
  • loan day is more exciting than Christmas.
  • you use a vodka bottle as a rolling pin and a shot glass as an egg cup.
  • you have frozen veg in the freezer that’s never actually eaten just used for injuries.
  • you see the sell by dates as a challenge rather than a warning.
  • you stick your slippers back together with duck-tape.
  • it’s too much effort to microwave beans and make toast, so you start eating beans on bread.
  • you hoover the table before you wipe it
  • anything before noon is considered early
  • 6am is when you go to sleep, not when you wake up.
  • you realise anything can be cooked in the microwave.   **(except chicken!!!!)