Tag Archives: Sex

Turning Twenty, Cruella Deville and Masturbating Monks?

8 Nov

Okay, okay, okay. YES I realise it’s been over 5 months since I last posted on here and I’M SORRY. Honestly?  I just abandoned it all summer and by the time Uni started back up I’d been procrastinating so long I couldn’t bring myself to *actually* write anything. And as soon as my courses started I’ve been SO BUSY that blogging about HOW BUSY I AM is the last thing on my mind. Right now though I’ve had an incredibly productive day and thought I’d keep the forward momentum going for a little bit longer (until I inevitably collapse in an exhausted heap and just read A song of Ice and Fire all night and eat some carrots…)

Right. This is, as always, ridiculously long, and so I’ve decided to throw in some photos, if I manage to put them on properly!

Well, the last thing I posted on here was actually about having passed my exams. Ye gods, I’ve really abandoned you all haven’t I?!  So much has happened and I’ve got loads to talk about (for once) but I have no idea where to start!

Uni’s been AMAZING. I can’t even begin to explain how excited I am by all of my courses! I’m taking three different classes this semester: Victorian Literature, The Bible – Literature and Culture and Buddhism. Next semester I’ll be replacing Vic Lit with ‘Pre-modern’ stuff, which I’m not looking forward to, mostly because I’ll be seriously upset at Vic Lit class being over!

For those of you who don’t know, I’m absolutely obsessed with literature from the Victorian era. The majority of my favourite authors were writing in this time which is what got me hooked but I think the more I’m delving into the literature, and the more I’m getting to know the time period, the more fascinating it is! So much change is happening and I just love the way these changes are approached so differently! AH I’m not going to go into it now because I could genuinely go on for hours!

My reading list for Vic Lit is both incredible and slightly disappointed. I had hoped that we’d be studying the Bronte sisters (the coursebook had implied it) but sadly they’re not on the list. Neither is a few others I’d been desperate to finally get my teeth into. However I think, for the most part, the texts we are studying make up for the ones we’re not! Hardy’s Jude the Obscure, Wilde’s The Picture of Dorian Gray, Wilkie Collins The Moonstone, H.G. Wells The Island of Dr Moreau, George Elliot Silas Marner, Joseph Sheridan Le Fanu Carmilla, some Robert Browning poems, a bit of Elizabeth Barrett Browning, D.G Rosetti and a few poets focussing on ‘Poetry and religious belief’ which is my absolute favourite topic for poetry and is one of my favourite parts of the course thus far! AND to top it off, my new favourite novel, replacing even Austen’s Persuasion and Bronte’s Jane Eyre *drumroll please* Gaskell’s North and South!!!!!!!! I’d actually borrowed the series adaptation of this book in sixth year and I loved it (mainly because Richard Armitage was in it and hot damn…) and so I knew I would enjoy the book. I finally finished reading it last week (staying up until four in the morning because I couldn’t put it down once I’d started!) and, as predicted, I’m obsessed. I’ve bored all of my friends to tears going on about it! AAAAH so good!!!

Anyway, my other courses are great to, for the most part. I was really excited about Buddhism and it’s been a jump from last year, which I was seriously hoping for because I ended up really bored! And there’s a lot more focus on texts than there’s been in any of the other levels I’ve studied it at, which can only be a good thing!

As much as I went into the course with high hopes, though, the last two weeks haven’t really caught my interest. Today, for example, we spent most of the time discussing masturbating monks. As interesting as I’m sure that is to some people, it just made me feel vaguely queasy. I can understand how it’s relevant (he used that text to explain the Vinaya, basically the rule book for Buddhist monks and nuns, and how it was laid out) and I do get that by using something so unusual we’re not likely to forget it in a hurry, but there are so many things about the texts that would have been more worthwhile discussing. When, in all honesty, am I likely to discuss the masturbation habits of Buddhist monks in the early 5th Century? Hopefully never, ever again.

Aside from the last two weeks or so I’ve really enjoyed it though and I’m really hoping it’s just because of the material we’re having to cover (it’s definitely dry reading and I appreciate the lecturer’s just trying to liven it up a bit). Hopefully it’ll pick up again soon!

And Bible lit and culture is okay. I’m not overly enthusiastic as yet, but I’m getting into it more and more and I am definitely enjoying it!

Okay, so yes, Uni’s great. It’s been a really big leap this year in the amount of work though. I have to admit it’s definitely overwhelming! I’m keeping on top of it just now but I’m definitely going grey with the stress of managing it all!

Aside from uni, it’s been a pretty fantastic five months! What’s happened? I’m trying to write this all down in some sort of coherent order and failing badly.

Well, this summer I’ve been doing a lot!

We went to my cousin, Amy’s, wedding. It was beautiful and Amy looked stunning. (I’m not gonna put a pic up because it’s a public blog but trust me, she was like a princess!)

My Gran!

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Uncle Tom and Aunty Ann

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Me, Mum and Bethany 

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Me, Dad, Aunty Ann, Mum, Uncle Tom!

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And I’ve had quite a few amazing days out with my friends from down the road! One that springs to mind was Riding of the Marches, which is always something to write home about, if not always for the reasons you’d hoped… It was actually really good though, most people made it, and I think everyone had a bit much to drink (it’s ROM though, who doesn’t end up drunk?!). And I ended up breaking a flipflop on the floor of The Shed (a pub in Annan) because it was so sticky. Classy.

Lauren and Lisa. This photo pretty much sums them up.

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Jess.

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Pamela. Again, I’d say this pretty much sums her up *ducks*

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Finlay (sorry you’re blue)

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Me and Jess

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EXTREME DRUNK CLOSEUP. Because I can’t judge distance after my fifth vodka okaaaaay.

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And a few weeks later a couple of my friends from down the road came up to Glasgow for Pride, which was brilliant, so busy and loud and bright and just absolutely amazing! We marched with the parade, had a delicious lunch in the centre and spent way too long looking at all the gorgeous jewellery on the stalls!

AND I gave my little sister a make-over. She’s three years younger than me, and rarely wears make up, but when she does it’s like I have a doppelgänger!

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Actually, a few of my friends were up recently for Halloween/ my birthday and my friend, Lisa’s birthday. It was an AMAZING night, we went to Polo and, yes, once again everyone ended up pretty drunk! Yes, I did dress up as Cruella Deville. And yes, I ended up abandoning the wig when we hit polo and realised we were the only ones dressed up! (luckily it was Polo we went to though, there’s always some weirdly dressed folk in that club!)

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Incase you didn’t know, Pamela’s a midget. I’m not just unusually tall. 

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And this lovely photo, after several apple sours, turned into….

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^^ THIS IS MY FAVOURITE PHOTO EVER. It’s perfect in every way.

We even caught a picture of Connor in his leisure wear, which I’m sure most of our mutual friends would love to see!

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He’s a princess, what can I say?

I especially loved Pamela staying on for an extra day and getting to hang out with her! And do stereotypically girly things like drink hot chocolate and try on clothes. 😀

But I had an amazing birthday! Highlights were my parents getting me a blender (I’ve been desperate for one since I moved back up the road and realised I couldn’t make smoothies!!) and my sister baking me a cake

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And then setting it on fire

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OOOOOH also, as you’ve probably guessed by now, I did manage to get a flat this year despite, as most of my twitter followers will have realised, my serious doubts on the matter! Actually, it’s on the adjoining street with my old flat! And it’s pretty much identical inside too, except it looks a lot nicer, cleaner brighter and costs me more money >.< *sighs*

Lately my front door’s been broken though, and so whenever I order a taxi it still has to go to Dick Street and I still get the cheek from the taxi service who thinks I’m winding them up.

What else do I have to tell you?

OH, yes, I mentioned earlier I’ve had a productive day! Well, after uni I decided to go for a walk into Partick because my student loan’s just came in and I am in desperate need of some new tops that aren’t hanging off me! So I went for a wee browse and ended up buying three full bags of clothes! They were an amazing bargain though, and I really do need them!  Then I went into the centre and decided I might as well make a start on my Christmas shopping. And start I did; by about four o’clock I was weighed down with tons of bags, having successfully BOUGHT EVERYTHING I NEEDED TO FOR CHRISTMAS, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO; PRESENTS, CARDS, WRAPPING, CRACKERS, DECORATIONS, AND THE TRADITIONAL CHRISTMAS SOCKS. Yes ladies and gentlemen, you heard right, it is the 8th of November and I have already finished my Christmas shopping!!!!! Everything’s wrapped and ready to be delivered! Safe to say, I’m feeling pretty smug knowing in a month’s time you’ll all be rushing about in a panic buying your gifts while I can sit back with my feet up (nice and cosy in my new socks) and laugh at your pain. *cackles*

On top of that, I walked five miles without even noticing, which was great and made me feel less guilty about my McFlurry!

That’s another thing that I’m kinda hesitant to talk about, mostly because I don’t want to jinx it. I’ve been working out and eating green stuff. I know, I know, you’re all sitting staring at me in shock. Well, I kinda had to! I’d put on a hell of a lot of weight since starting uni, more so than ever in the last year and it was starting to mess up my health again: the fainting was coming back and stuff. It wasn’t good. So I just bit the bullet and accepted that the only way to get better was to make myself better by thinking better and being better. And it’s working! I’m a lot healthier, I’ve got so much more energy and, up until the last month I’ve been coming on in leaps and bounds! I’ve actually been eating more than I was before, but it’s been so much healthier and *GREEN*!

Unfortunately, and rather typically, I’ve managed to do myself an injury. OF COURSE I DID. I’m trying to get healthier and stronger and I MANAGE TO DAMAGE A BLOODY TENDON. I’m annoyed at myself but also just *eyerolls to infinity*. I mean, there are really no words here. Of course I did. It’s taking ages to heal, and I wasn’t allowed to do any impact exercises for three weeks (it’s been five now and it’s still buggered so I’m going to have to go to physio). It’s annoying that it’s affected me so much. I’ve been moping about it too, so haven’t been eating as healthily and the last month I’ve not really made much of an improvement on any score. Thankfully I’ve not piled on loads of weight, so I guess I’m not doing too badly but I can tell everything’s just sort of sunk since it started. My mood’s been really low too, and I know it’s because I’ve not been eating right and everything. It’s kind of scary how much it brings me down to go back to the way I was just five months ago!

I really can’t explain what a huge difference it’s made to everything since I started trying to get healthier, and I’m not going to because I know it bores everyone stupid when someone goes on about getting healthy/fitness related stuff. But yeah, just thought I’d post about it since it has become such a big part of my life now! And it’s the reason I need all the new clothes! Lost thirty pounds and three dress sizes, everything I put on looks like a bloody tent now!

Yeah, so things have been going fabulously well! I’m not doing any creative writing still, and I’m not even going to go into how messed up it all is. Another rant for another post.

Anyway, I’m going to try and keep this blog a little more up to date. At least, I promise I won’t leave it another 5 months before I post again! I’m also thinking about adding more photos on here too. And maybe, eventually, creative writing but I can’t, and won’t, make promises on that score.

Congratulations, you survived the ridiculously long blog post!!!! 😀

Also, I know the formatting on this sucks, I don’t really know how to deal with putting photos on here yet! Sorry!

Someone should exist purely to stop me ranting on this blog. It’s for the good of all man kind.

1 Mar

**A little warning that this post does talk about some sensitive issues, primarily abortion. If you’re not comfortable, then I’m afraid this isn’t for you. **

Also, I’m really sorry mum and dad! I know you’ll read this and, yes, I have talked about sex, masturbation and blow jobs…. Don’t hate me. 😦 (It’s in a philosophical context! I’m allowed!)

Okay, so I know I’ve been a bit crap with posting on here lately. I have no excuses really, just way too much on my plate. I’ve been completely over run with essays and, as per, my organisational skills have been absolutely crap. I have one more to go and I’m proud to say that, despite it not being due for over a week, I’m halfway through it. To be fair, if I had finished it the day it was set I still couldn’t have made up for how atrocious the first three were,as far as time management goes. I’m hoping I’ve done all right on them, but I’m going through the traditional ‘Oh my god, that was the worst essay I’ve ever written, I’m going to fail Uni and become a poetry reciting busker’ routine. (I can’t play any instrument very well, by the way, which may help to explain the poetry. Also, I like poems…)

Anyway, Philosophy was a nightmare. But then it always is. I’m pretty sure everyone’s predicted the upcoming rants on this semesters main Philosopher already, but I’ll save you from that for a little bit longer. Anyone fancy having a guess who it is? I’ll give you a clue, he’s an absolute pain in the arse (but to be fair, that would describe every philosopher that ever walked the planet. Ever.) and he wrote a book about Socrates. (Who I actually adore for some reason. Perhaps his ability to troll the life out of every conversation?) Well, the essay was on abortion, which is quite a controversial topic and something I haven’t really given much thought to. I had kind of hoped that after studying it in so much detail I would be able to make my mind up about how I felt about it but I’m still not sure.

I can kind of reason with myself that either pro or anti abortion would be a good stance to take but then I think of all the arguments against that argument and I just can’t find a reasonable reply to them. I think that writing an essay on it has actually just made me more confused as to my own opinion, it’s given me a lot of arguments but hasn’t lead to an answer which I’m comfortable with.

How can you say that it’s right to kill, or ‘let die’ a child that has done no wrong to anyone? But then, can you really define a foetus as a child? At what point does it become a ‘life’? 12 weeks? 10? A lump of cells? The argument that a child has a life from the moment of conception really doesn’t sit right with me. That’s like saying that sperm has a ‘life’ and how would that work?

I mean, I know that for certain people of the Catholic religion they’re often against contraception for this reason, that it’s stopping a child from being born, that it’s essentially killing it. (I know that there are many other reasons why some Catholics, and people of other religions are against contraception, I’m not trying to make that argument sound unreasonable by pointing out only that fact. To be quite honest, the argument itself does more to sound unreasonable than I ever could.)

Another interesting, if a little crude, point that I’ve came across is that if you can reasonably say that sperm is a life, could you say that giving someone a blow job was cannibalism? I mean, I know no reasonably minded person would think that, but where exactly do you draw the line? If you can’t use contraception because it prevents sperm from reaching, or at least having the potential to reach an egg, does that mean that masturbation would mean the same thing? Essentially, you’re ‘wasting’ life the same way you would do if you used contraception.

So no, I don’t agree with the idea that a child has a life from contraception, because I don’t see how turning from a sperm/egg into a blastocyst simply by multiplying out your cells can make the difference between having a life, and therefore a right to life, and not. (Yes, I DID learn, and remember, something in Human Biology!) So, because I don’t know how to define having a life and not, I can’t say it’s ok to have an abortion at an early stage but not after a certain time. It’s not okay at any point if I take that route, because the foetus could ‘develop’ a life at any point.

But then, I’m not comfortable with this either. I don’t like the idea that if a woman has been raped she should be forced to keep the child of her rapist when she is not at fault and not responsible for the baby. Or if the mother’s life is at risk. Or for another reasonable and just explanation. And I am fully in support of the fact that a woman should have the rights to her own body.

But then, shouldn’t the baby have the right to life? And wouldn’t that be more important? And, actually, something that’s not talked about as much as I thought it would be: Don’t the fathers have some sort of right? I mean, say that a woman and man are trying for a baby, conceive, but then she decides she doesn’t want it? Or worse, decides to abort the baby deliberately to hurt the father, something I know has happened on too many occasions? Does the father have no rights to his child? I mean, a father has equal rights when the child’s born, does the fact the mother’s carrying it make them any less relevant?

Oh dear. I’ve just stopped typing to remember what I was doing…. It was definitely not this.

So, I’ve went WAAAAY off track here. Erm, was not meant to go on an abortion rant. Right, well, so Philosophy essay was clearly destined to be rubbish. If I don’t have a clear opinion I can’t argue for or against it. English, I’d like to hope, went slightly better. It was about gender roles in Hamlet and Orlando and, although I was incredibly panicked at first, I managed to settle into it, and almost understand half of what I wrote. By about 4 o’clock the morning it was due in.

My last essay is for theology and I was going to go for either ‘Describe the Caste system in Hinduism.’ or ‘How can Hinduism be understood as the world’s oldest religion?’ but I decided that after not doing so well on my essay as I’d have liked last semester, I thought I’d do something different and go with the outrageously vague question, giving me a bit of scope to put my own spin on it. So, I’m writing now about ‘what it means to be Hindu’.

I’m quite enjoying it actually. I can either go two ways with it. One would be to describe as many of the key concepts as possible without going into too much depth, say a paragraph each, and the other would be taking three or four of the key, key concepts and be really detailed. I’m not sure what would be best. I could do both of them easily enough now that I’ve taken so much notes. (23 pages for a bloody essay!!!! I’m losing my mind) I’m not sure though, that with it being such a vague question I could really link just 3 or 4 and manage to answer it fully enough. But then, I also don’t know if I can put enough detail into the other option to be able to get a better grade. I could try and find a middle ground, but I have no idea where that would be.

Yeah, I get that you probably zoned out after reading that crap about an essay you’re not having to write/read so I’ll quit that rant too. Hmm, what else? I guess it’s been a hard few weeks. A lot has happened to make things unreasonably difficult. I had a pretty bad fall down two flights of stairs. Actually, that’s a lie. I had a pretty bad fall down one set of stairs. Then I tried to stand up, lost my footing and flew down the other one. I’ve ended up black and blue, again. My hip’s still gross and swollen. (’cause obviously you all wanted to know that). And it means I’ve been hobbling all over the place, which has not been fun. I’ve become addicted to facebook games, which is really not healthy. I just can’t stop! Oh yeah, I’m still unreasonably obsessed with vegetables!! I don’t think any of my ‘I will be healthy and eat good things and lose weight and exercise and stop eating beetroot’ have lasted this long!! Hopefully it’s a good sign! Yeah, I’ve also been reading HP fanfiction again. I feel like I’m betraying everything good about literature by doing this. In fact, I feel like I’m betraying myself, cutting out my soul a word at a time. But I’m allowed. It’s been an awful few weeks for numerous reasons and if I’ve succumbed to my weakness of slashy goodness then I’M ALLOWED. DON’T JUDGE ME. (**Edit** I’ve been told this is ‘gibberish’ so for those of you who are obviously not cool enough to know, hp fanfiction is Harry Potter stories written by fans about what happens after Deathly Hallows or a different spin on canon (Rowling’s plot). And slash is between same sex pairings. Some of them are actually quite good. Ok, they’re all right. Well, I mean, they can be good if you like that sort of thing. Look, I like them, STOP LOOKING AT ME WITH YOUR JUDGEMENTAL EYES.)

I actually stopped writing this post earlier to go to a debate at the QMU, which was really good! But now I have no idea or motivation to rant to you all any more! Well, I guess you had a lucky escape! I will post again soon. Yes, I will. I will. I’ll try. Ok, bye! Image

P.S. a friend sent me this photo. It is an incredibly accurate portrayal of my life.